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Monday, 7 May 2012

Don't Tell Lie

Johnny Can not Tell a Lie
One time, back in the day, a boy named Johnny was walking to school with his girlfriend. He was trying to impress her, so he said, "I bet you I can push my father's outhouse into the river." She didn't agree with him, so he proved her wrong. Impressed, she walked the rest of the way to school hand in hand with Johnny. That day at school, they studied the story about George Washington and the cherry tree. The moral that they learned was "never tell a lie." 
After school, Johnny went home. When he walked in the door, his dad met him. He said, "Son, did you push my outhouse into the river?"Johnny said, "Dad, I want to be like George Washington and never lie, yes, I did."
And his dad beat him from one end of the house to the other. You could have read the newspaper off of Johnny's rear end. After Johnny was finished sobbing, he asked, "Dad, why did you whoop me? I didn't lie. George Washington cut down the cherry tree and didn't lie about it, and he didn't get a whooping." Johnny's dad looked at him and said, "Son, I bet George Washington's dad wasn't sitting in that cherry tree when he cut it down, was he?”
Hold Me
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: ''I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.''
The husband says, ''WHAT??'' The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, ''But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it.''
Hot Revenge
Hold Me
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.
She says ''Okay, I'm ready, let's go to the cash register.'' The husband says, ''No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff.''
The wife's face goes blank. ''No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.'’

1 comment:

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