-->
PayOffers.in

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Santa Banta Hindi Jokes/chutkule

(Hindi Jokes, Hindi Jokes, Hindi Jokes, Hindi Jokes, Chutkule, Chutkule, Chutkule, Chutkule)
·  Doctor: I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is you're showing signs of being a homosexual.
Banta: With bad news like that, what could be the good news?
Doc: The good news is I think you're cute.
******************************************
·  Preeto: I have to be damned careful not to get pregnant"
Jeeto: I thought your husband had a vasectomy
Preeto replies: He did!
******************************************
·  Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein
*******************************************
·  Pappu: Papa jab aap Honeymoon pe gaye the tab mein kahan tha?
Santa: Putar, jaate waqt tu mere paas tha aur aatey waqt mammi ke paas.
********************************************
·  In UK, Santa & Banta saw a poster at a Police station: Two White men wanted for Rape.
Santa: These bloody goraas always get the best jobs
*******************************************
·  One night Jeeto's boyfriend asked her: Darling, r u free tonight?
Jeeto shouted & said: Asshole, have I ever charged u before?
*****************************************
·  Santa, unable to satisfy his wife, took Banta's advice.
While having sex, he asked her: Do u feel any change?
Jeeto: Yes, today u r doing it like Banta
*****************************************
·  Santa rape karan di koshish karda hai. Kudi: Tere rape karan to pehla mein mar javangi.
Santa: Aho mar jayin par kise garib de kam na aayin
*****************************************
·  Santa di saali: Jijaji 500 Rs deo agley haftey dawangi.
Santa: Tu 1500 le, magar hune ge
*******************************************
·  Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?
Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai
******************************************
·  On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!
**********************************************
·  Santa: Main ghar jaate hi biwi ki panty utar dunga.
Banta: Yaar tu to bahut mood mein lag raha hai.
Santa: Nahi yaar mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.
**********************************************
·  Santa: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind?
Wife: That you are a homosexual.
********************************************
·  Pappu: Papa, aap papa kaise bane?
Santa: Oye puttar, pa pa key!
*******************************************
·  Pappu: What's the difference between Confidence and Confidential?
Santa: U are my son I'm Confident. Ur friend is also my son, that's Confidential.
*******************************************
·  Pappu: Dad what's the diff between luv, belief & relief.
Santa: Ur Mom is my luv, ur maid is my relief & I'm your Dad - well, that's my belief.
********************************************
·  Three men discussing wives. 1st says my wife is very cold. 2nd says mine is very hot.
Santa: I'm confused. I think shes is cold but people say she's hot.
*******************************************
·  Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe khana hai ga#d thodi marni hai!
********************************************
·  A man phoned & asked: Hello, is it 221714?
Jeeto: Hindi me bolo.
Man:Do-Do-Ek-Sat Choda?
Jeeto: Nahi Sir, Teen-Teen-Ek-Sat Choda, 331714.
*****************************************
·  Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni bharjai di dekh.
*****************************************
·  In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.
******************************************
·  I'm organising group sex at my home. Will u join?
Santa: Yes, yes. How many people r there?
Banta: Just three. Me, u n ur wife.
*******************************************
·  Pappu sees his parents having sex.
Pappu: Papa, kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Petrol bhar raha hoon.
Pappu: Avg check karaao, abhi to Banta uncle dal kar gaye hain.
********************************************
·  How does a vagina luk before sex?
Like a pink rose with soft petals & great aroma.
And after sex?
Have u ever seen Santa's face after he drinks lassi?
********************************************
·  A man is doing push ups on the beach, Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says, "Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left."
********************************************
·  Doctor: U look terribly weak & exhausted! Are u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?
Preeto: Doctor, I thought u said three males a day. 9
******************************************
·  During sex Jeeto asks repeatedly: Do u luv me, do u really love me? Irritated Santa: What the hell do u think, I am doing pushups?
******************************************
·  Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.
*******************************************
·  Jeeto: Kal chor aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
********************************************
·  Banta: What four letter word starts with F and ends with K and if a man can't get it he uses his hands?
Santa: Fork
******************************************
·  How does a vagina luk before sex?
Like a pink rose with soft petals and great aroma.
And after sex?
Have u ever seen Santa's face after he drinks lassi?
********************************************
·  Santa: Oye Banta don't marry that girl, she is like a TAXI.
Banta: Choti si to city hai yaar... kitni chali hogi?
********************************************
·  Santa touched Jeeto's boobs and sung: Piyo glass full doodh, wonderful doodh.
Jeeto touched his penis and said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!
******************************************
·  Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like u, it would be great.
Jeeto: If it looks like u, it would be a miracle.
********************************************
·  Banta to a Doctor : I have diarrhoea & it wont go away.
Doctor: Did you try using a lemon?
Banta: Yes I did. When I remove it, it starts again.
********************************************
·  Banta: Did u hv a chance 2 sleep with my wife?
Santa: What r u saying? I'd never even think abt such thing.
Banta: U might want 2. She's much better then urs.
********************************************
·  Son: Teacher says, `Father is the pillar of the family` then what`s mom?
Dad: She makes the pillar stiff, strong and worthwhile to raise a family.
********************************************
·  Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.
********************************************
·  Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
*******************************************
·  An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card
******************************************
·  Boss to a lady during interview: What's the difference between Paperclip and Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.
*************************************
·  If necessity is the mother of invention, then.. Frustration is the father of masturbation!
******************************************
·  What is the definition of a healthy virgin?
One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !
****************************************
·  While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.
****************************************
·  Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.
*****************************************

·  What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

No comments:

Post a Comment

searching tool