Monday, 29 April 2013

Best of Lalu Jokes

Laloo the Detective 

A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives. 

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" 

Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." 

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" 

Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, 

"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?" 

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? 

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. 

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. 

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?" 

"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear." 
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Lady tells Doctor:Mere husband ka bahot bada hai
Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai!
Dr:Chota kar du kya
Kaleja Upar kardo .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mattha tekne ke baad lady boli swamiji koi sadbuddhi ki baat bataiye.
Swami : bra pahan ke aaya karo, hilte dekh ke dhyan bhang ho jata hey.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl-DR Main susu Karti Hoo to 4 DHAR NIKALTI HAI
After checking her,
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.
Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MELODY &MALA-D me kya fark hota hai?
choti bacchi jab masti karti hai to MELODY khati hai
badi bachi jab masti karti hai to MALA-D khati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Club Me Dancr jhuki to American Ne 100 Rs.Uski Bra
me dala,British Ne 200 dale
Sardar ne ATM card Uski Bra Me ghusaya or
300 Rs. Nikaal Liye???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar was advising his son on dinning table: 'Oye boti kha boti, lulli waddi hoyegi'..
Sardarni (Sharmatey huey(: 'Sardarji tusi v khao na'..???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
SwamiRamdev Blue Film dekhne gye
hans pade
BHAKT:Ap Q hanse gurdev?
SWAMI:Aj 20 sal bad mera khada hua hai
BHAKT:Gurdav apne mera pkda hua hai.???4

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