Funniest Jokes and Hindi Entertainment, Chutkule

Saturday, 14 January 2012

OH, What A Reply

Do you deserve to enter heaven?

A man died and went to heaven. An angel met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, 'Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you - we've examined your whole life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not sure whether we can admit you into heaven or not. Can you tell us anything exceptional you did that can help us make a decision?' The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, 'Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of goons. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the gang. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him that he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!' 'I'm impressed,' The angel responded, 'When did this happen?' The man replied, 'About two minutes ago'.

Doctor to patient: "you will be completely cured if you give up playing the piano." After the patient leaves, the nurse asked; "Doctor, What 's the connection between her illness and piano?"

She Lives in the apartment above mine," Doctor Replied.........

Wife to husband: "I ran out of money today, So I dropped by your office, but as you weren't at your desk, I took 1000 bucks out of the wallet in your jacket,"

"That's OK, honey, "said the husband. "I' ve been working in a different department for a month now,"

I had been invited to give a slide presentation to my daughter's third-standard class on my experiences when I lived and worked in Egypt. When I projected the first slide, I explained; "These are the famous pyramids at Giza, located near Cairo, They were built around 2600 BC.

Does anyone know what the means?"

One eager young fellow shouted out, "Before Computers"

Arthur Field of Chichester, UK, was pleased with the lovely blouse he had bought his wife at their local Oxfam charity shop. As he gave it to her, proud that he knew her size and the style she liked ,she said, "yes,dear but I donated it to Oxfam yesterday."

Well Said !

A Big Decision

A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, 'Daddy, I'd like to get married.'
His father replied hesitantly, 'Sure, son, do you have anyone special in mind?'
'Yes,' answered the boy. 'I want to marry Grandma.'
'Now, wait a minute,' said his father. 'You don't think I'd let you get married with my mother, do you?' 'Why not?' the boy asked. 'You married mine.'

A Business Loan

A businessman walked into a bank in San Francisco and asked for the loan officer. He told the officer that he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer explained that the bank needed some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out, and the bank agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. A bank employee drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later, the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 with interest, which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for only 15 bucks?"

Supermarket Encounter

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better." "Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk