AMERICANIZATION JOKES

u don't open a telephone conversation with a HELLO but with a "Hi"
The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".
U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Your tire never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' no more but "carriages" or "boxes".
There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".
"I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.
U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb,rather flick it up.
There's no "Business Area" only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".
No one stays "a stone's throw away", might"a few blocks away". There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town". In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather ask for "check" and pay with (Dollar) "bill"s. There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas". Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks". U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball". U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off". Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them. U no longer live in "flats" or "blocks", find an "apartment". U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line". U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it. "#" is not "hash", it's "pound". U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing". U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged". U R not "disgusting" U R "sick". U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped". U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it. U never "joke", U just "kid". U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up. U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser. a rubber is a condom U don't try to find a lift U find an elevator. U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT"U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?"U never go to see a game U go to watch a game. If U see "World" champions(or Series),read "USA"champions(or Series).
There's no "zero" but "o", no "Z" but "zee". There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD. If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".You don't say "How do you do", you say "How you doin" In short U don't speak English, U speak American.Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!!!