Hindi shayari and Hot Jokes/chutkule

Hindi shayari and Hot Jokes/chutkule 

( Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes )

BECAUSE DELHI HAS QUTUB MINAR
AND MUMBAI HAS GATE WAY OF INDIA

Why is Delhi a male city (Maha Nagar) and Bombay a female city
 (Maha Nagri)?

Unki galiyoon se jab guzre to manzar ajeeb tha,
Dard tha magar wo dil ke kareeb tha,
Jise hum dhoondhte the apni hathoon ki lakeeroon mein…
Wo kisi doosre ki kismat, kisi aur ka naseeb tha.

Khuda kare ki pyar me kisi ka dil na toote
Jaise rutha mera sanam kisi aur ka na ruthe
Rota hai dil aur toot jate hain sapne
Ankhon ke aansoo bhi nahin hote hain apne
 

Kaash wo nagme humein sunaye na hote,
Aaj unko sunkar ye aansu na aaye hote,
Agar is tarah bhul jaana hi tha,
To itni gehrai se dil mein samaaye na hote..

Neend aankhon main nahin, khwaab kho gaye
Tanha hi the, kuch aur tere bin hum ho gaye
Dil kuch tadap utha, zuban bhi ladkhadai
Teri yaad main do aansu chupke se beh gaye !

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain:)

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan….

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Aur chillake bole…..
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:)

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..Doctor: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai ?

Patient: Doctor saheb.. Pahle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor: dawai khali thi kya ?

Patient : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor: Arey... mere kahne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.

Patient: Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur Maine le li thi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya ?

Patient: Oho, nahi doctor saheb dawai to laal thi.

Doctor: Abe GADHE, Dawai KO piliya tha kya ?

Patient : Nahi. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor: Abe Teri to, Dawai KO muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nahi ?

Patient: Nahi doctor saheb.

Doctor: Kyon ?

Patient: Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor: Teri to sale, to Khola kyon nahi.

Patient: Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor: Tera ilaaz main nahi kar sakta !

Patient: Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Abe teri ....

Naukarani Ne Sushila Se Kaha, Memsahab Gajab Ho Gaya.
Pados Ki Teen Auraten Aap Ki Saas Ko Peet Rahi Hain.

Sushila Naukarani Ke Sath Balakani Se Aayi Aur Chupchap
Tamasha Dekhane Lagi.Naukarani Ne Pucha, Aap Madad
Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sushila - Nahi Teen Hi Kaafi Hain.
once there was an accident where the car driver hit the parrot.
The parrot faints, so the driver takes the parrot to his home ,
gives first aid to it and then puts it in a cage with some food .
When the parrot wakes up . in a shock it tells
"aila!! jail!!!!!! gadi wala mar gaya kya????"


Mallika Sherawat ne
Baba Ramdev Ji se puchha ,
ki main nahate samay kya lagaun ,
ki mera Yauvan surakshit rahe ?
Baba ne Kaha ...
DARWAJA ... !

Jinn: Hukam aaka ?
Man: Ghar se dubai tak road banani hai
Jinn: Mushkil hai aur koi kaam bataiye
Man: Meri biwi ko aagyakari aur samajhdar bana do.
Jinn: Road single banani hai ya dabule.....
Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai meri samajhdari ya meri beauty..

Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achchhi lagti hai..

Police ne raat ke 1 baje sharab ke nashe mein

tunn ek aadmi ko pakad kar puchha..

Raat ke ek baje tum Kahan ja rahe ho..?

Aadmi - Main sharab peene ke dush parinaam

per lecture sunne ja raha hun...

Police - Itni raat mein tumhe kaun lecture dega..?