English Jokes- Best English jokes

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One liner Best English Jokes/Chutkule  A

man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly 

emerged from behind, sirens blaring. Thinking he d outpace the cop, the

man pushed his accelerator to the floor. His car s speed rose to sixty, then

seventy, eighty, and ninety. Finally, the man thought, what the heck, and

pulled over, ready to receive a speeding ticket.

The police officer got out, leaned over the man and said:  Listen, Mister, I

have had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good

excuse and I ll let you go.

The man thought for a moment and said:  Three weeks ago my wife ran off

with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were

that officer and were trying to give her back to me.

No ticket......... eeeee The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced it to stop. A heavily built policeman got out and walked over. You name, please?  asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen. Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas. The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook his head and said:  I ll just give you a warning this time   don t break the speed limit again. Get up,  shouted Albert s mother.  You ll be late for school. But I don t want to go,  protested Albert.  All the kids are horrible, the teachers are terrible, and it s all extremely boring. I want to stay home. But,   replied Albert s mother,  you re forty-three and the headmaster of the Certainly, officer,  replied the driver.  It s Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus school. .