Raabert-Mona hot Hindi Jokes.... (Jokes, Jokes Jokes and Hot Jokes)
ROBERT JOKES
Raabert : Baas, iss aadmi ne hamaare saath gaddaree kee hai..
Ajeet : Iss kuththe ki ek haath mein titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein hmt ki ghadi pehnaado.
Raabert : Lekin baas, yeh to gaddaar hai.
Ajeet : Hum jaante hain, raabert. Isko bathaana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi ka mehmaan hai.
Raabert : Baas, Sona kahan hai? (Where is the gold?)
Ajeet : Saara beach hamaara hai. Kahi bhee so jao raabert.
Raabert and Ajeet are escaping in a boat and suddenly there's a hole in the boat and water starts coming in. Raabert is anxious.
Raabert : Ab kya hoga baas...?
Ajeet : Ek aur hole kardo, Raabert...
Raabert : Ek aur hole..?!!
Ajeet : Ek hole pe 'IN' likh do aur doosre hole par 'OUT' likh do. Paani IN mein aayega aur
OUT se baahar jaayega...
Ajeet : Is gaddaar ko shaampein mein dubaa do.
Raabert : Lekin kyon, baas?
Ajeet : 'Shame se' nahin to 'Pain' se mar jaayega...
Mona comes in with a proposal to get married
Mona : Baas, Humne Toni se shaadi karni hai
Ajeet : Mona yeh bilkul nahi ho sakta
Mona : Lekin baas, yeh kyon?
Ajeet : Mona, tumne agar Toni se shaadi ke to yahan bahut monatony ho jaigi.
Mona goes ahead, gets married and has twin boys
Raabert : Baas, Mona ke judwa ladkae hua hai.
Ajeet : Theek hai humne inke naam bhi soch liye pehle ka Peter aur doosra Repeater
Later, Mona has twin girls
Raabert : Baas, Mona ke judwa ladkiya hua hai.
Ajeet : Theek hai humne inke naam bhi soch liye - pehli ka Kate aur doosri DupliKate
Raabert : Baas, mein aaj kaam pe nahin aaoonga. Mujhe stomach ache hai.
Ajeeth : Abay bavakoof ! Har kisi ko stomach ek hi hotha hai.
Ajeeth : Raabert, is gaddhar ko is duniya se aazad kar dho. Iski laash ko Police Estation
ke saamne phenk dho. Aur is ke side mein ek suyi bhonk dho.
Raabert : Lekin baas side mein suyi kyon ?
Ajeeth : Thake Police samjhe ki ye suyiside hai.
Raabert : Baas meri beevi ko theen ladke payida ho gaye hai. Mein inka naam kya rakhoon
Ajeeth : Phele ka naam Peter rakho, dusre ka naam Repeater rakho aur theesre ka naam
Chin Chin Choo rakhko.
Raabert : Lekin baas thesre ka naam Chin Chin Choo kyon ?
Ajeeth : Are bevakoof, woh isliye ke duniya mein har theesra bachha Chinese hotha hai.
Mickey Mouse : Ajit, Muzhe Ramayan padhnee hai.
Ajeet : Raabert, isse wall peh chipka do
Raabert : yeh kyon baas?
Ajeet : Taaki yeh waal-mickey kehlaygaa aur usse Ramayan apne aap samazh me ayegee!
Scene: Ajit murders a man.
Ajeet : Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.
Raabert : kyon baas?
Ajeet : Fill it,shut it,forget it!
Boss : Raabert!
Rab : Yes, bass?
Boss : Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.
Rab : Lekin, kyon bass?
Boss : Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.
Robert : boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
Ajit : Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona da..arrling's typing.
Ajeet : Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert : Magar kyoon baas?
Ajeet : Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
Ajeet : Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger starrt kar do.
Raabert : Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet : Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajeet : Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert : Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet : Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert : Yes Boss.
Ajeet: : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein
hai .......
Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet :Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do.Timer ko teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye.
Timer ko panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"
Ajeet : Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega
Raabert : Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet : Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter : Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet : Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet : Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, who hamara mehman
hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajeet : Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door
birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar
aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
Raabert : Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet : Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur
oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
Peter : Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajeet : Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
Robert : aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet : Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet : "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi aa jaayegi.
Bob : Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet : Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet : "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo Saale ko Society jeene
nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.
Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajeet : Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
A pause..... Tum chootti le lo.
Ajeet : Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert : Stool, boss ?
Ajeet : Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
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