SardarJi best jokes

Yup... You are a Paka sardar
You should be sure it is a sardarji when somebody :
* puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind.
* gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
* sends a fax with a stamp on it.
* tries to drown a fish.
* thinks socialism means partying.
* trips over a cordless phone.
* takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
* At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius."
* studies for a blood test and fails.
* sells the car for gas money.
* misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
* drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
* gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Meaning of Sardar Name
What do you call a sardar with one hair ?
Iqbal Singh.
What is the national drink of Khalistan called ?
Sharbat Khalsa.
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
A female Khalistan terrorist?
Hard Kaur.

Sardar At Med School
Little is known of the fact that a sardarji once applied to Med School. Listed below are the results of his entrance test dug up from some ancient archives. Needless to say he didn't make it...
ANTIBODY: against everyone
ARTERY: the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN: what you be after you be eight
BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
CAESARIAN SECTION: a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty
CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her
COMA: a punctuation mark
CONGENITAL: friendly
CORTISONE: the local courthouse
D & C: where Washington is
DILATE: to live longer
ENEMA: not a friend
ER: the things on your head that you hear with
FIBRILLATE: to tell lies
GENES: blue denim slacks
HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN: hurt at work
MINOR OPERATION: somebody else's
ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move
PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go
PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PROTEIN: in favor of young people
RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula
RHEUMATIC: amorous
SECRETION: hiding anything
TABLET: a small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport
TIBIA: country in North Africa
TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak
TUMOR: an extra pair
URINE: opposite of "you're out"
VARICOSE: very close
VEIN: conceited

Best Sardarji Jokes

Sardarji's Moms Letter Pyaaaray Puttar
Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last sardar who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetary. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.

Your Uncle Jatinder fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. the driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as the couldn' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

The American Lady
An American lady is window shopping in Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside, goes to the shop and asks in very American accent to the sardar owner.....
What's the time??

The sardar is a very patriotic man and hates foreigners and their English accent while speaking.. So he replies back in the same accent........
Bra-panties!!

Confused the lady asks again.........
No! No! What's the time??

The sardar again answers back..........
Bra-panties!! Bra-panties!!

Seeing the confusion going between the two another sardar comes to the rescue of the lady and says.......
O papaji tusi samajh nahin paaye!! Kudi twade kol time puuch rahii hai gayee!!

The angry sardar shots back at him.........
Tow main bhi to oonoo time hee das rahan hai barah panthis(12:35)

The Train Driver
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar.

He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc .

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger.You should have run over that person .

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

Sardars on a fishing spree
Two surds go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to shore.

The first surd says: "I hope u remember the spot where u caught all those fish."

The other answers: "Yes,I made 'X'on the side of the boat to mark the spot."

"U idiot!"replies the first."how do u know u will get the same boat tommorrow."

Latest Sardarji Jokes

Surd with his new Maruti
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.

After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didnt reach in the evening, and not the next day either.

When he finally reached home on the third day, his disraugth mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?"

The sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?"

Sardar's phone call from London
Sardar from Bombay went to London. In the evening, he felt like talking to Sardarni. So dialled his residence and the following conversation happened:-
Sardar- O-Haello-o-o
Reply - Hello
Sardar smirks as it is an unfamiliar male voice.
Sardar - Oye, kaun hai.
Reply - Shaab, main Bahadur.
Sardar - Oye, too kahan se aya.
Bahadur - Shaab, mujhe aaj hi MemShaab ne naukri pe rakha hai.
Sardar shifts uneasily at the revealation of Sardarni's daring at keeping a Hardworking (u can translate work) Pahari bahadur, the day Sardar has left home.
Sardar - Oye, khote, ja ke Memsahib nu bula ke mere naal gal kara.
Bahadur - Shaab, MemShaab to shota hai.
Sardar - Oye, tu Memsahib nu jaga de.
Bahadur - Par Shaab, MemShaab to Shaab ke saath sota hai.
Sardar is Red and White sorry Wild with anger.
Sardar - Dekh oye Bahadur, Tu meri gal sun. Main tera asli Sahib hoon.
Bahadur - Shaab, to phir MemShaab ke paas kaun sota hai.
Sardar - Woh koi khoti da puttar nakli Sahib ban ke aya hoga. Tu aisa kar, drawing room ki diwar par meri dunali bandook latki hai. Ja use leke aa ja.
After a pause....
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, Bandook le aya.
Sardar - Ye telephone ke niche wali daraz men goliyaan padi hain. Isme se do goliyaan Bandook mein daal de.
After a shuffling and cranking noise...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, dal diya.
Sardar - Ab jake us nakli Sahib ko aur Memsahib ko shoot kar de.
Rapport of two gunshots is heard and...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, maine dono ko shoot kar diya. Ab lashon ka kya karoon.
Sardar - Bahar garden mein gaddha khod ke dono lashon ko dafan kar de.
Bahadur - Shaab, aap kya bolta hai. Ye fifteenth floor pe garden kahan se aa gaya.
Sardar - Oh, sorry, wrong number.

Sardar in Texas
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."

The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"
At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?"

Sardarji Hindi jokes

Best Hindi Jokes

Customer:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka He?
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itna Sasta
Sman:China Ka He.Koi Gurantee Nahi,Ho Sakta He Kal Se Bhokna Suru Karde
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Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
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Teacher-apko shahrukh khan ki movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI se kya lesson mila?
Student-ummeed mat haro shadi k bad b ladki pat sakti hai!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I am leaving India 2morrow
Actualy Aishwarya is pregnant & media is suspecting me 4 it
Tu bhi nikal le
.
.
Uski kamwali bhi pregnant hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
English teacher-
"one cute young girl is walking on the road"
change this in to exclamatory sentence.
Student-
"Aaila, ITEM" !!!
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Girl: na chedo ladkio ko paap hoga
kal ko tu v kisi ka baap hoga
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sacchi ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo teri bacchi ho
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Girl:If U'll Try To Kiss Me,Me Shor Macha Dungi
Boy:Lekin Yahan Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi He
G:I Know Bt Formality To puri
Karni Hi Padegi
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Media asked Abhishek,wat is d difference between new and old Umraojaan?
Abhishek:Nayi waali se apni setting hai aur purani waalise papa ki!
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Santa was walking in a forest, he saw snake hanging on d tree
Santa : Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
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Hum chlormint kio khaate 
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
50 paise me nahi ate hai
Ab dobara mat puchna
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Napolean : Meri Dictionary Me "Impossible" Word Nahi He!
Santa : Ab Bolne Se Kya Fayda, Kharidte Samay Hi Check karni Chahiye Thi...
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Sherani ke gharwalo ne Hathi ka Rishta thukara diya kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tu so ja unka aapas ka mamala hai, hume kya karna,...

Gud9t
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Agar kuchh different kar dikhana hai to 1 baat mano
Hathi par ulta ho ke photo nikalo Aur duniya ko photo ulta karke dikhao.
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Chuhe ne Bili ko prpose kiya to bili boli-abe chala ja,tujhe mujhse darr nhi lagta.
Chuha :TUJH ME RAB DIKHTA HAI YARA MAIN KYA KARU.
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Santa ka uske pitaji se bahot jhagada hua...
Santa sidhe Kabrastan aaya aur pitaji ka photo ped par tangaya aur niche likha,
Coming SooN...
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Months-12
Cricketors-11
Fingers-10
Planets-9
Corners-8
Wonders-7
Senses-6
Oceans-5
Direction-4
Seasons-3
Eye-2
Lovely Person-1
Abe tu Nahi mai
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1Srdar-maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi 
Fir B.Sc,
fir M.Sc
Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab aur kya karu?
2 srdar-acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde.
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Srdr put his penis in a botle of HORLICKS n started shouting ''Epang Opang Japaang''
why?why?He wantd 2 make it Taller Stronger n Sharper
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3 grls gosipping at tuition
1st-kal maine sir ki table par cdm dekha
2nd-maine usme hole kar diya tha
3rd-marwa diya na mujhe saali
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1st nite pati biwi k ankho me dekh rha tha
Wife:kya dekh rahe ho? Pati:ankhe jndgi k kitab hai
Wife:niche library me aag lagi hai uska kya.
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Papu Ka Bura Din: Darwaza Khola Kundi Hath Me,
Nal Khola Tuti Hath Me,
Suitcase Uthaya Handle Hath Me.
Ab Dar Raha Hai Ke Susu Karu Ke Na Karu.
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A baby dog asks mama dog How papa looks like Mama dog said Your dad came from behind
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully
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Kunwari kanya ko miss kehte hai
uske chumbanKo kiss kehte hE
missKo kiss
karna mushkil
hE
isliye
kissmiss ke bhav tej rehte hai...
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Laloo the Detective 

A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives. 

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" 

Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." 

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" 

Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, 

"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?" 

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? 

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. 

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. 

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?" 

"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear." 

Best of Sardarji hindi jokes

Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Qki...
Shyam ke sath uski girlfriend thi..!!
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Itna KHUBSURAT kaise MUSKURA lete ho
Itna KATIL kaise SHARMA lete ho
1baat bata do yaar tum
Bachpan se hi CARTOON ho
Ya SURAT aisi bana lete ho???
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What's an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive
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Mam: Jab Sex karo to condom ka prayog kiya karo
Girl: Madam agar apko polythin me rakhkar Gulab jamun chusaya jay to kya apko maja ayega
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Raat ko sirf 3 log jagte hai
1. Bhut insan ko darane k liye
2. Machchar insan ko stane k liye
3. Husband aur wife insan ko banane k liye
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Great Offer! Bring a chit on exam day,scratch & show it 2ur nearest teacher
& win free trip2 Principal's office & Njoy 3year Vacation at Home
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Arz Hai
vo Toilet Mein Bethe The Maikhana Samajhkar,
Woh Toilet M Bethe The Maikhaana Samajhkar,
Aur Dhone Ka Paani P Gye Paimana Samajhkar
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Munna:circuit yar barish k waqt bijali Q chamkti hai
Circuit:bhai b0le t0 upar wala torch maar k dekhta h0ga ki kahi sukha t0 nahi reh gaya
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Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkum teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.
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saRDAR ki wife nangi ho kar,
pure bed par dono tango ko phelakar boli
KUCH samjhe?
SARDAR:Ha haraamzadi.tu bed par AKELI SONa chahati he
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Tumahri girlfriend kitni bhi Sharif hogi..
Wa wa
Tumhaari girlfriend kitni bhi Shareef hogi..
Wa wa
Par
Nahati to Nangi hi Hogi
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Tigr Kills Cow,
Hippo see It
Tigr asks Hippo "Not to tel this in Court",
Hippo Refuses,
Tigr Asks Y?
Hippo said-SHAKIRA says"Hips Don't Lie"
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Dost- Oye Teri Girlfriend Kaise Mari ?
Sardar: Yaar
MUH me MUH tha
CHOOT me LUND tha
GAND me UNGALI thi
Pata Nahi AATMA Kaha Se Nikal Gai !!
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Girl- Dear, Do U Know Aapki LULLI Duniya Ki Sabse Badi LULLI Hai ??
Boy- Aachcha.!
Girl- Kyun Ki, Iske Baad LUND Ki Category Suru Hoti Hai..
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Ladkiwal-hamko ladka psand h Shadi kab karni h?
Ladkewal-abhi to ladka study kr rha h
Ldki-hamari ladki koi baandriya nhi jo buk faad degi
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Ye NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE Hai,
Isme Hum Logo Ko Sone Se Pehle SUSU Karna Yad Karate H,
Taki BED Gila Na Ho..
Plz SUSU Karle
Dhanywad..
Gud Night
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A young man Studying Abroad Sent SMS to his Father:
Dear Dad,no money,no fun,your son.
Father replied: DearSon,too bad,sosad,your dad.
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MBA student:
"Yaar dhoka ho gaya"
Dost:
"kya hua?"
MBA student:
"maine ghar se books ke liye paise mangwaye the,unhone books hi bhej di...
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Who is true Indian?
Rajiv Gandhi.
Bcoz he is d only leader who followed pledge
"ALL INDIANS R MY BROS N' SISTERS"
& married to a foreign item.
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Santa:Mai 1 bar apne bathrum me susu karne gaya to waha sher tha.
Banta:fir kya hua?
Santa:mene sher ko kaha,aap karlo mera to nikal gaya.
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Hindi funny Jokes

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
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Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? (my favorite)
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Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
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What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
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What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
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A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
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What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
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Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
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Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
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Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
[jeejasali.com]
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Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede, Apni nahi toh dusre
ki dede, Bhagwan tujhe 1 ke badle 3 dega Anurag ki
tarah prerana ke saath Aparna aur Komolika free dega…
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Ek nadi thi...uske upar ek pull bana hua tha...pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi...
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi...
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
"KISNA"
Wanna know Why???

Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai... woh kisna hai
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Boy2 girl:Agr tum 50gm weight 1min me kam kar doto tum jayada sunder or sexy lagogi
G:Ye kaise ho skta h?
B:Very easy.Tum apni panti utar do.
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SardarJi Hindi Jokes

lady in party want 2 go 2 tolit,asked sardar :.
sardarji susu karne wali jagah dikhao.
sardar- naughty girl pehle tum dikao
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Sardar:Kya Tumhari Underwear.
Me 2 Chhed He?.
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Khabrdar-Nhai to..
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Sardar:Phir Tu Usme.
Tange Kaise Dalta He?

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Dr- marij K piche bhag.
rahayha.
Log-kya hua.
Dr-4bar aisa hua.
sala brain opration karvane.
ata he aor.
bal katvake bhag jata
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Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
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• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
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• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
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• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.
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• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
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A woman married
a one legged man..
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
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In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k chares alag se......
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MADAM said to a naughty boy!
Jab main sakht hoti hon to bohat sakht,
NAram hoti hon to bohat naram,NAughty boy said !Madam aap to bilkul meri LULLI
Jaisee ho..!!!!!!
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How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point
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Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi:
Faraz clerk hai 5000 pagar hai
uper se 15000 kamata hai
lardki walle: lardki nurse hai
2500 pagar hai + nicche se 50000
kamati hai
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Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the Office.
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A Sardarni had 8 sons all named Karan. On asking how she managed to call one in particular.
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Koi Sardarji apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal
garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Angry Sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar
idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think.........
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"
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A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
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Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
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Taking It With You

There once was a rich man who was near death.
He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money
and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven.
So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.


An angel hears his plea and appears to him.
"Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."
The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.


The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided
to allow him to take one suitcase with him.
Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure
gold bars and places it beside his bed.


Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven
to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says,
"Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"


But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks
him to verify his story with the Lord.
Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right.
You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its
contents before letting it through."


St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the
man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,
"You brought pavement?!!!" 

Heaven

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"


The man says, "Methodist."


St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be
very quiet as you pass room 8."


Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"


"Baptist."


"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."


A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"


"Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for
different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"


St. Peter tells him,
"Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.


Father?

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming.
He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus,
could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"


"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"


"Just find out about the people who arrive.
Ask about their background, their family, and their lives.
Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."


"Sounds easy enough. OK." So Jesus waited at the gates while
St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach
the gates was a wrinkled old man.
Jesus summoned him to the examination table and sat across from him.
He peered at the old man and asked, "What was it you did for a living?"


The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."


Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward.
"Did you have any family?" he asked.


"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."


Jesus leaned forward some more.
"You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"


"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."


Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?"


The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"

God the Parent

Whenever your kids are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even God's
omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."


"Don't what?" Adam asked.


"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.


"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?


Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"


"No way!"


"Where?"


"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.


"Why?"


"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God,
wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.


A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.


"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.


"Uh huh," Adam replied.


"Then why did you?"


"I dunno," Eve answered.


"She started it!" Adam said.


"Did not!"


"DID so!"


"DID NOT!"


Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...
thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed. 

God is Watching

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples.
It read, "Take only one, God is watching."


Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.


One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies,
"Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

Letters To God

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane


Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot


Dear God,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?"
Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla


Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.
That was cool! - Eugene


Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Allison


Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy


Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? - Anita


Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma


Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones
You have now? - Cindy


Dear God,
Who draws the lines around countries? - Nan


Dear God,
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool".
But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Edward


Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil


Dear God,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. - Robert


Dear God,
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce


Dear God,
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom
Author is Unknown