Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahtaa hoo.
Banta: arey yaar, mazaak mat karo. hasne ki mood nahi hai.

Santa apne bete ko: is baar agar exam mein fail huaa, to mujhe pitaji mat bulaana.
kuch din ke baad,
Santa: result ka kya hua?
Santa ka beta: sorry santa

Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon.
Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na.
Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?

Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?

Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?
Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne
Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?
Banta: 500 Rs
Santa: itnaa huaa kya?
Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar

Santa: kelaa kitna hai?
Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay
Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya?
Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa
Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo

Santa: padosi se hatouda maang leke aanaa zara
Banta: maangaa thaa, lekin nahi diye
Santa: log bahut laalchi bangaye hai. chalo, hamaara hatouda leke aao jaldi

Santa: police ne tumhe kyu arrest kiya?
Banta: maine purse se paise nikhaal ke kharchaa kar diyaa thaa
Santa: baap re!! is liye bhi arrest karte hai kya?
Banta: purse kisi aur kaa thaa yaar

Santa: pappa agar main exam pass karunga to kya doge?
Pappa: ek cycle dilaadoonga
Santa: agar fail hua to?
Pappa: 10 cycle dilaaunga
Santa: woh kyu?
Pappa: padhaai bandh karke cycle shop khol lo

Santa: navy mein kaam hai. karoge?
Banta: zaroor. kya kaam hai?
Santa: jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaata hai, to tumhe peeche se use dakhelnaa hai

Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua?
Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. tab main so rahaa tha?

Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.

Doctor: bantaji, khaane baad neend ki goliya lee na aapne.
Banta: uff!! khaane ke baad zor se neend aa raha tha to maine goli lena bhool gaya