Customer:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka He?
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itna Sasta
Sman:China Ka He.Koi Gurantee Nahi,Ho Sakta He Kal Se Bhokna Suru Karde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher-apko shahrukh khan ki movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI se kya lesson mila?
Student-ummeed mat haro shadi k bad b ladki pat sakti hai!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I am leaving India 2morrow
Actualy Aishwarya is pregnant & media is suspecting me 4 it
Tu bhi nikal le
.
.
Uski kamwali bhi pregnant hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
English teacher-
"one cute young girl is walking on the road"
change this in to exclamatory sentence.
Student-
"Aaila, ITEM" !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl: na chedo ladkio ko paap hoga
kal ko tu v kisi ka baap hoga
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sacchi ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo teri bacchi ho
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl:If U'll Try To Kiss Me,Me Shor Macha Dungi
Boy:Lekin Yahan Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi He
G:I Know Bt Formality To puri
Karni Hi Padegi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media asked Abhishek,wat is d difference between new and old Umraojaan?
Abhishek:Nayi waali se apni setting hai aur purani waalise papa ki!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa was walking in a forest, he saw snake hanging on d tree
Santa : Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hum chlormint kio khaate
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
50 paise me nahi ate hai
Ab dobara mat puchna
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Napolean : Meri Dictionary Me "Impossible" Word Nahi He!
Santa : Ab Bolne Se Kya Fayda, Kharidte Samay Hi Check karni Chahiye Thi...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sherani ke gharwalo ne Hathi ka Rishta thukara diya kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tu so ja unka aapas ka mamala hai, hume kya karna,...
Gud9t
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar kuchh different kar dikhana hai to 1 baat mano
Hathi par ulta ho ke photo nikalo Aur duniya ko photo ulta karke dikhao.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Chuhe ne Bili ko prpose kiya to bili boli-abe chala ja,tujhe mujhse darr nhi lagta.
Chuha :TUJH ME RAB DIKHTA HAI YARA MAIN KYA KARU.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa ka uske pitaji se bahot jhagada hua...
Santa sidhe Kabrastan aaya aur pitaji ka photo ped par tangaya aur niche likha,
Coming SooN...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Months-12
Cricketors-11
Fingers-10
Planets-9
Corners-8
Wonders-7
Senses-6
Oceans-5
Direction-4
Seasons-3
Eye-2
Lovely Person-1
Abe tu Nahi mai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1Srdar-maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,
fir M.Sc
Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab aur kya karu?
2 srdar-acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Srdr put his penis in a botle of HORLICKS n started shouting ''Epang Opang Japaang''
why?why?He wantd 2 make it Taller Stronger n Sharper
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3 grls gosipping at tuition
1st-kal maine sir ki table par cdm dekha
2nd-maine usme hole kar diya tha
3rd-marwa diya na mujhe saali
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1st nite pati biwi k ankho me dekh rha tha
Wife:kya dekh rahe ho? Pati:ankhe jndgi k kitab hai
Wife:niche library me aag lagi hai uska kya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Papu Ka Bura Din: Darwaza Khola Kundi Hath Me,
Nal Khola Tuti Hath Me,
Suitcase Uthaya Handle Hath Me.
Ab Dar Raha Hai Ke Susu Karu Ke Na Karu.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A baby dog asks mama dog How papa looks like Mama dog said Your dad came from behind
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kunwari kanya ko miss kehte hai
uske chumbanKo kiss kehte hE
missKo kiss
karna mushkil
hE
isliye
kissmiss ke bhav tej rehte hai...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Laloo the Detective
A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itna Sasta
Sman:China Ka He.Koi Gurantee Nahi,Ho Sakta He Kal Se Bhokna Suru Karde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher-apko shahrukh khan ki movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI se kya lesson mila?
Student-ummeed mat haro shadi k bad b ladki pat sakti hai!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I am leaving India 2morrow
Actualy Aishwarya is pregnant & media is suspecting me 4 it
Tu bhi nikal le
.
.
Uski kamwali bhi pregnant hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
English teacher-
"one cute young girl is walking on the road"
change this in to exclamatory sentence.
Student-
"Aaila, ITEM" !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl: na chedo ladkio ko paap hoga
kal ko tu v kisi ka baap hoga
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sacchi ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo teri bacchi ho
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl:If U'll Try To Kiss Me,Me Shor Macha Dungi
Boy:Lekin Yahan Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi He
G:I Know Bt Formality To puri
Karni Hi Padegi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media asked Abhishek,wat is d difference between new and old Umraojaan?
Abhishek:Nayi waali se apni setting hai aur purani waalise papa ki!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa was walking in a forest, he saw snake hanging on d tree
Santa : Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hum chlormint kio khaate
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
50 paise me nahi ate hai
Ab dobara mat puchna
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Napolean : Meri Dictionary Me "Impossible" Word Nahi He!
Santa : Ab Bolne Se Kya Fayda, Kharidte Samay Hi Check karni Chahiye Thi...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sherani ke gharwalo ne Hathi ka Rishta thukara diya kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tu so ja unka aapas ka mamala hai, hume kya karna,...
Gud9t
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar kuchh different kar dikhana hai to 1 baat mano
Hathi par ulta ho ke photo nikalo Aur duniya ko photo ulta karke dikhao.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Chuhe ne Bili ko prpose kiya to bili boli-abe chala ja,tujhe mujhse darr nhi lagta.
Chuha :TUJH ME RAB DIKHTA HAI YARA MAIN KYA KARU.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa ka uske pitaji se bahot jhagada hua...
Santa sidhe Kabrastan aaya aur pitaji ka photo ped par tangaya aur niche likha,
Coming SooN...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Months-12
Cricketors-11
Fingers-10
Planets-9
Corners-8
Wonders-7
Senses-6
Oceans-5
Direction-4
Seasons-3
Eye-2
Lovely Person-1
Abe tu Nahi mai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1Srdar-maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,
fir M.Sc
Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab aur kya karu?
2 srdar-acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Srdr put his penis in a botle of HORLICKS n started shouting ''Epang Opang Japaang''
why?why?He wantd 2 make it Taller Stronger n Sharper
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3 grls gosipping at tuition
1st-kal maine sir ki table par cdm dekha
2nd-maine usme hole kar diya tha
3rd-marwa diya na mujhe saali
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1st nite pati biwi k ankho me dekh rha tha
Wife:kya dekh rahe ho? Pati:ankhe jndgi k kitab hai
Wife:niche library me aag lagi hai uska kya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Papu Ka Bura Din: Darwaza Khola Kundi Hath Me,
Nal Khola Tuti Hath Me,
Suitcase Uthaya Handle Hath Me.
Ab Dar Raha Hai Ke Susu Karu Ke Na Karu.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A baby dog asks mama dog How papa looks like Mama dog said Your dad came from behind
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kunwari kanya ko miss kehte hai
uske chumbanKo kiss kehte hE
missKo kiss
karna mushkil
hE
isliye
kissmiss ke bhav tej rehte hai...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Laloo the Detective
A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
No comments:
Post a Comment