God the Parent

Whenever your kids are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even God's
omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."


"Don't what?" Adam asked.


"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.


"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?


Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"


"No way!"


"Where?"


"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.


"Why?"


"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God,
wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.


A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.


"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.


"Uh huh," Adam replied.


"Then why did you?"


"I dunno," Eve answered.


"She started it!" Adam said.


"Did not!"


"DID so!"


"DID NOT!"


Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...
thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed. 

God is Watching

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples.
It read, "Take only one, God is watching."


Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.


One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies,
"Take all you want, God is watching the apples."