Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Hot lady jokes

This guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm. The dog is wearing an England shirt. The barman nods and asks what he wants. "Pint please," the man replies. He sets the dog down and starts watching the game, soon after the local team score a goal and the dog goes beserk dancing round the bar and doing back flips.
"Wow," the barmen says, clearly impressed. "What does he do when we win?" "I don't know, I've only had him five years" the man replies!

Once there was a dog who had lost his back leg in an accident. This leg was replaced with a rubber one. Unfortunately, one day he started scratching all his body with the rubber leg, and he disappeared...

Question: How is the male bee tell that one fly sitting on the tea cup to the female
Answer:ABCDE (Just think)
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Answer: You find footprints in your pudding!

Five tips for a woman...
It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
It is important that a man makes you laugh.
It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
It is important that these four men don't know each other!

Three old ladies arrive at heaven's gate. St. Peter: 'Have you been good?' First old lady: 'O yes, I went to church every day and never fooled around with men'. 'You shall be a morning star'. Second old lady: 'I went to church on Sundays and fooled around with men a little.' 'Then you shall be an evening star'. Third old lady,
defiantly: 'I must admit I went out with men a lot and had a lot of fun, too!' 'Then you shall be a comet, because a little bit of tail never hurt anyone.

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