Police jokes

Once a one police-man told another that he should catch the thief.He returns back.
First police-man asks him whether he had caught the thief or not.
He says "I hadn't caught him but got his finger-prints."
First police-man asks "where?"
He says "on my face."

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the prisoner obligingly.
"Do you think I am a fool" said the officer.
"You stand here and I'll get it."

The police sent a set of pictures of a wanted criminal to all stations within 100 kilometers.
The set contained a front shot and two side shots. A week later they got a fax saying, "We've
caught the fellow in the middle but we're still looking for the other two."

Policeman(to the watchman): Where were you when the labourer was kidnapped.
Watchman: I was on duty Policeman: Then why didn't you try to save him.
Watchman: Sir, my duty is to keep watch on the building & not on the men of the building

Teacher student general jokes

Teacher:Who was Raja Ram Mohan Roy ?
Student:They all four were great friends
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey with a stick and I stop him , what
virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.

Teacher:Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher:Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Laughing is good exercise

Return my horse!

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar,
handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I did in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I did in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

Chemistry Class

One day, the chemistry teacher asked his students, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Silly Suzie immediately raised her hand. "Yes, Suzie, what's the answer?", the teacher asked. Suzie answered proudly, "The chemical formula for water is 'HIJKLMNO'!" Her teacher looked perplexed. He asked, "What are you talking about?" Suzie replied, "Yesterday you said the formula for water is H to O!"

Improve Your Memory!

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it has made a big difference for me." "That's great! What
was the name of that clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Just One Copy

A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he found the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder. "I just need one copy."

Hashgulle....

Sawaal: Pata hai kee Nishaar Bhai kaise paida hua?
Sawaal: Nahee Na?
(Thik hai, Mai Bata-ta Hu........)
Jabaab: Jawani Janeman, Haseen Dilruba
mile do dil java..... Nishaar ho gaya.


Banta ji platform par khre the tabhi train aane kee ghosnaa huai aur woh railway track se kud pade.
Unhe dekh kar ek aadmi chhilaaya "sardaar jee ky kar rahe ho mar jaoge!
To Banta jee Bole Marega tu! abhi abhi suna nahee kee train platform par aa rahee hai.

Baasi khabaar
Ek Do sheet wala Plane aaj kabristaan mein gir gaya. Local Sardaaro ne ab tak 500 death body haasil kiya
hai aur baaki kee talash ke liye abhi bhi khudai kar rahe hai.........  

Santa singh (prito se) Jaanti ho jitnee der mein main ek saansh leta hu.
Utnee der mein Desh mein ek naya baccha janam leta hai.
Prito(chakit ho kar)- Hai raam, tab tum apnee yeh harkat chhor kyo nahee dete?
Desh kee aabaadi pahle se hee Itnee badhee hui hai.