NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
CATS
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEYA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTSA woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTUREA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESSA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
does.
DRESSING UPA woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURALMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRINGAh, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
No comments:
Post a Comment