Best answered jokes

When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he

turned her down, saying: ‘Your salary is already higher than that of the

secretary at the next desk. And she has five children.’

‘Excuse me,’ the efficient woman replied, ‘I thought we got paid for what we

produce here—not for what we produce at home in our own time.’

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Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a

bomb, which one of them had in his lap.

‘Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute,’ said the man carrying

the explosive.

‘Don’t worry,’ the driver assured him, ‘we have got a spare one in the boot.’

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A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came

charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly

continued his milking.

To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy,

turned around and walked away . ‘We are n’ot you afraid?’ one of the workers

asked the boy.

‘Not at all,’ the boy replied , ‘I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.’

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A patient complains to a famous psychologist: ‘Professor, I'’ve been having

terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me.’

‘Who’s been treating you until now?’

‘Dr Lal Rathor.‘

‘I see. He’s an idiot. I’m curious to know what he advised you to do.’

‘To come and see you.’

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For their first anniversary, a man bought his young wife a cell phone. She

was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. The next

day she was out shopping when the phone rang.

‘Hey, darling,’ he husband said. ‘How do you like your new phone?’

‘Oh, I just love it!’ she gushed. ‘It’s so cute and small—and your voice sounds

so clear. But there’s just one thing I don’t understand.’

‘What’s that?’

‘How did you know I was at the sari shop?’