Friday, 29 March 2013

Best Sardarji Jokes

Sardarji's Moms Letter Pyaaaray Puttar
Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last sardar who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetary. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.

Your Uncle Jatinder fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. the driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as the couldn' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

The American Lady
An American lady is window shopping in Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside, goes to the shop and asks in very American accent to the sardar owner.....
What's the time??

The sardar is a very patriotic man and hates foreigners and their English accent while speaking.. So he replies back in the same accent........

Confused the lady asks again.........
No! No! What's the time??

The sardar again answers back..........
Bra-panties!! Bra-panties!!

Seeing the confusion going between the two another sardar comes to the rescue of the lady and says.......
O papaji tusi samajh nahin paaye!! Kudi twade kol time puuch rahii hai gayee!!

The angry sardar shots back at him.........
Tow main bhi to oonoo time hee das rahan hai barah panthis(12:35)

The Train Driver
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar.

He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc .

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger.You should have run over that person .

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

Sardars on a fishing spree
Two surds go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to shore.

The first surd says: "I hope u remember the spot where u caught all those fish."

The other answers: "Yes,I made 'X'on the side of the boat to mark the spot."

"U idiot!"replies the first."how do u know u will get the same boat tommorrow."

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