Friday, 29 March 2013

Latest Sardarji Jokes

Surd with his new Maruti
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.

After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didnt reach in the evening, and not the next day either.

When he finally reached home on the third day, his disraugth mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?"

The sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?"

Sardar's phone call from London
Sardar from Bombay went to London. In the evening, he felt like talking to Sardarni. So dialled his residence and the following conversation happened:-
Sardar- O-Haello-o-o
Reply - Hello
Sardar smirks as it is an unfamiliar male voice.
Sardar - Oye, kaun hai.
Reply - Shaab, main Bahadur.
Sardar - Oye, too kahan se aya.
Bahadur - Shaab, mujhe aaj hi MemShaab ne naukri pe rakha hai.
Sardar shifts uneasily at the revealation of Sardarni's daring at keeping a Hardworking (u can translate work) Pahari bahadur, the day Sardar has left home.
Sardar - Oye, khote, ja ke Memsahib nu bula ke mere naal gal kara.
Bahadur - Shaab, MemShaab to shota hai.
Sardar - Oye, tu Memsahib nu jaga de.
Bahadur - Par Shaab, MemShaab to Shaab ke saath sota hai.
Sardar is Red and White sorry Wild with anger.
Sardar - Dekh oye Bahadur, Tu meri gal sun. Main tera asli Sahib hoon.
Bahadur - Shaab, to phir MemShaab ke paas kaun sota hai.
Sardar - Woh koi khoti da puttar nakli Sahib ban ke aya hoga. Tu aisa kar, drawing room ki diwar par meri dunali bandook latki hai. Ja use leke aa ja.
After a pause....
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, Bandook le aya.
Sardar - Ye telephone ke niche wali daraz men goliyaan padi hain. Isme se do goliyaan Bandook mein daal de.
After a shuffling and cranking noise...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, dal diya.
Sardar - Ab jake us nakli Sahib ko aur Memsahib ko shoot kar de.
Rapport of two gunshots is heard and...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, maine dono ko shoot kar diya. Ab lashon ka kya karoon.
Sardar - Bahar garden mein gaddha khod ke dono lashon ko dafan kar de.
Bahadur - Shaab, aap kya bolta hai. Ye fifteenth floor pe garden kahan se aa gaya.
Sardar - Oh, sorry, wrong number.

Sardar in Texas
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."

The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"
At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?"

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