Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead!
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer!
Q: Why do English Footballers make better lovers than French and German Footballers?
A: The English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes and still come
second!
Q: What have the England Football team and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with Lassie?
A: A dog that’ll savage your leg and then run off to fetch a doctor.
Did you hear about the blonde that took her first bicycle back to the store where she
bought it? She said it was defective as every time she tried to ride it, it fell over.
Q: How many perverts does it take to put a light bulb in?
A: Just one, but it takes the entire casualty department to get it out.
Did you hear about the orchestra leader that was nearly stuck by lightning?
The audience put his escape down to him being a poor conductor.
Q: What did Sir Lancelot say when he arrive at a hotel?
A: Have you got a bed for a Knight?
Thought for the day: The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is the day
they start making vacuum cleaners.
Met a gorgeous Dutch girl with inflatable shoes.
I rang her up before but she had popped her clogs.
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead!
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer!
Q: Why do English Footballers make better lovers than French and German Footballers?
A: The English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes and still come
second!
Q: What have the England Football team and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with Lassie?
A: A dog that’ll savage your leg and then run off to fetch a doctor.
Did you hear about the blonde that took her first bicycle back to the store where she
bought it? She said it was defective as every time she tried to ride it, it fell over.
Q: How many perverts does it take to put a light bulb in?
A: Just one, but it takes the entire casualty department to get it out.
Did you hear about the orchestra leader that was nearly stuck by lightning?
The audience put his escape down to him being a poor conductor.
Q: What did Sir Lancelot say when he arrive at a hotel?
A: Have you got a bed for a Knight?
Thought for the day: The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is the day
they start making vacuum cleaners.
Met a gorgeous Dutch girl with inflatable shoes.
I rang her up before but she had popped her clogs.
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