Super Hot Jokes

The Antique Furniture Dealer

An antique furniture dealer, Rose Wood, was a Chippendale off the old block. She had a great sense of humor and was always telling oaks! Sometimes she maple our leg a little too much! 

Rumors said that she was a sexy woman, and that many a man wood filler crack. But others said there’s knot a grain of truth in that.

It’s certainly true that she broke few hearts, as guys wood pine for her. She liked men with polish. She liked men that didn’t go against the grain. Often she’d be dating a guy and they wood varnish mysteriously. It’s suggested that she wood be helping him put a spit shine his hardwood.

The true love of her life was a carpenter and an expert at tongue and groove. He helped her restore her prized position a black box. He spent hours polishing her box lovingly and she thanked him for it, by waxing lyrical about his wood.

I will cedar point to you – She was familiar with softwoods, but she enjoyed a hardwood more than any thing!

The accident

A husband gets a phone call from the hospital saying that his wife has been involved in a car accident and she's in a coma.He rushes to the hospital to be by her bedside and there he remains for over a week while the doctors are giving up hope but after being there for so long he was getting rather frisky so waits for the doctor to finish his checks and leave the room and his slips his hand under the covers and strokes his wife's leg when he thinks he sees her finger twitch. So he strokes her inner thigh moving upwards and he hears his wife moan.He rushes out of the room yelling for the doctor and tells him that what happened. The doctor takes him aside and suggests that if he tries oral sex, it may be bring his wife round and that he'll keep everyone out of the room so they can have some privacy. The husband excitedly goes into his wife's room and the doctors and nurses wait patiently outside in the corridor. A few minutes later the guy comes out looking pale, the doctor says "What's the matter?"
"She's dead"
"Well didn't you do as I suggested?"
"Yes Doctor but she choked!"