Santa Aur Banta ke Chutkule And Jokes

Santa Aur Banta ke Chutkule And Jokes. 
(Chutkule and Jokes, Chutkule and Jokes, Chutkule and Jokes, Chutkule and Jokes, Chutkule and Jokes)
Banta Complaining: U r so unresponsive, do u use cold cream between ur legs?

Preeto Taunting: U must be using vanishing cream between urs.
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Santa after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

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Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra ?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.
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Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.

After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if u take out ur finger?

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Jeeto: Doc saab, mujhe thode din bachcha nahinn chahiye.
Doc: Take this condoms.
Jeeto: Ye paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath.

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Gal's father: Beta kya karte ho?
Santa: Ji samaaj seva karta hoon. Gire huon ko uthata hoon, bichade huon ko milata hoon.
Father: Woh kaise?
Santa: Ji Bra banata hoon.
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·  Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.
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·  Doctor advised Santa: Dabaa ke doodh piyo.
Santa: Doodh to khoob peeta hoon per wohh dabaney nahin deti.
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·  Banta: Why are condoms transparent?
Santa: So that the sperms can at least enjoy the scenery!
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·  Banta's advice: Don't carry umbrella during Rain....keep WHISPER on ur head kyunki yeh ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de
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·  Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia, Santa ne car roki to ladki boli: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.
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·  Banta: Was ur wife a virgin when u married?
Santa: I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.
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·  Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What's this? 
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha `Serve hot without dressing'

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·  Santa: What food u feed ur new born baby?
Beautiful Young Mom: Breast milk & orange juice.
Santa: Oye, Which side is orange juice?
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·  Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.
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·  Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi.
When asked why, Santa bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.
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·  Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!

Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!
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·  Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.
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·  Santa: Bhai Saab ek condom dena. Meine girlfriend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa, arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai.

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·  Santa went to school for getting the report card of his son.
Santa: Madam kab dengi aap.
Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo.
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·  Banta goes to a Family Planning clinic for advice. He reads the notice at the enterance: 'For Family Planning Use Rear Entry'
He goes back home happily.

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·  Pappu: Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.
Jeeto: Yeh to achchi baat hai.
Pappu: Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi 'O God...O God'

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·  Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad.

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·  2 Girls were masturbating with carrots. Banta says: What r u doing?
Gals: U naughty guy, will u join us?
Banta: Wait, I'll get a carrot.

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·  Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai.
Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya

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·  Santa: During sex both of us njoyed, then y should I pay?
Prostitute: For us it's Incoming, so its free. For men it's Outgoing, so u have to.

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·  Santa raping a gal in car. A cop came & said: What r u doing?
Santa: I'm raping her.
Cop: Ok, I'm next.
Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before.

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·  Teacher gave a sentence to Santa for translation: Khushi ke maare uski chhati phool gayi.
Santa: Due to happiness his chest turned into breasts.
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·  Banta: Thakur Gabbar teri bhen da rape ka dita. Te oh puch rahi hai ki...
Thakur: Ki puchdi hai?
Banta: Puchdi hai ki Gabbar to Badla Laina hai ya payment?