Scientists and God (Jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes....)
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform done with Him. the Pope of the result.
The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve “I have some good news and some bad news, your Holi- decided that we no longer need You. We’re to the point that ness, “ said the golfer. we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t You just go on and get lost?” “Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus,” said the Pope.
God listened very patiently and kindly. After the scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this? “Well, your Holiness, I don’t like to brag, but even though Let’s say we have a man-making contest.”
I’ve played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must’ve been To which the scientist replied, “Okay! Great.” But God inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons added, “Now we’re going to do this just like I did back in the were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. old days with Adam.”
With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.”
The scientist said, “Sure, no problem!” and bent down and “There’s bad news?” the Pope asked.
grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
“Yes,” Nicklaus sighed. “I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your three strokes.” own dirt!”
Jesus at the Pearly Gates
St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention.
“Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?”
Driver: Your holiness! I’m so sorry. Where can I take you? Forgive me!
“Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?”
Pope: Sit, eat, my son. Truthfully, I’d like to take the car for “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their a drive. I’m the Pope, and everything is done for me. I’ve background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they never driven an automobile. Please allow me.
deserve entry into Heaven.” Driver: Certainly, Your Holiness. Let me assist. “Sounds easy enough. OK.”
Pope: Sit, my son. Finish your dinner. So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his
errand. The first person to approach the gates was a The Pope begins to drive. Naturally, he is not very good at it wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to the examination as he has never done this before. After hitting several table and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man
parked cars, lamp posts, and stop signs, he is pulled over and asked, “What was it you did for a living?” by a state trooper.
The old man replied, “I was a carpenter.” The police man gets out of his cruiser, approaches the
driver’s window and knocks. The Pope lowers the window, Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned Trooper eyes the scene and retreats to his cruiser. Immedi forward. “Did you have any family?” he asked. ately, he grabs his cell phone and phones the governor.
“Yes, I had a son, but I lost him.” Trooper: Governor, this is State Trooper Wilson. I’ve just
pulled over the most important person in the world for a Jesus leaned forward some more. “You lost your son? Can serious traffic violation but I don’t know what to do.
you tell me about him?”
Gov: Wilson, who could you possibly have pulled over?
“Well, he had holes in his hands and feet.”
Trooper: I have no idea, but he’s sitting in the back seat of a
Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, “Father?”
limo, eating a sandwich and the Pope is his driver!
The old man leaned forward and whispered, “Pinocchio?”
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