Tuesday, 14 February 2012

some interesting jokes

The barbeque Blonde 
A blonde goes into a local super-market with a disposable barbeque that she bought the day before. The picture on the carton shows loads of succulent food. When she gets to the customer service desk she starts complaining that there’s no food inside! The assistant patiently explains, “It’s a disposable barbeque tray. There’s supposed to be no food inside.” "OK. I understand." says the blonde. "One more question. Does that mean I can take the other one out of the freezer?”
The evil Sergeant
A guy is standing in line waiting to get his Army discharge papers. Suddenly the meanest sergeant in the regiment marches up to him and shouts, "Once your discharged, I bet you'll be waiting for me to die, so you dance on my grave?" "No Sergeant." Replies the private "When I get out of the Army, I’m never going to stand in line again."
The Perfect Mate
Three women are talking about their ideal of the perfect mate. The youngest says,  "My perfect mate must be musical, tell jokes, sing, and keep me company in the long winter evenings"  Her mother’s friend replies,  "If what you’re looking for get a TV!"

Q: How do you know when the wife about to say something smart?
A: The sentence begins with "A man once told me..." 
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There's a clock on the cooker! 
Q: Why do men pass gas more than women do?
A: Women never have their mouths closed long enough to build up pressure. 
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which one should you let in first? 
A: The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in. 
Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorcee. 
Q: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
A: Always.
Q: If a guy hasn't spoken to his wife for 18 months why is that?
A: He doesn’t like to interrupt her. 
Q: What food seriously diminishes a woman's sex drive? 
A: Wedding cake

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