Friday, 20 April 2012

Alternative definitions

Avoidance: I don't want to go to the dance.

Concourse: A golf course for criminals

Optimist: Happy fog.

Pessimist: Sad fog.

Sandbar: Where beach bums get drunk.

Submit: Wet glove.

Subside: Side of the ocean.

Survey: Map making knight.

Flatulent: A property that that your mate is living it.

Amplitude: Loudspeaker with an attitude.

Monsoon: A Caribbean teenage boy

Appointment: The business end of an assassin's knife.

Approximate: A stand-in for a regular friend.
Coffee, a person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted, appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate, to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade, to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly, impotent

Negligent, describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your

Lymph, to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle, an olive-flavoured mouthwash.

Flatulence, the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a

Balderdash, a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle, a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude, the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately
before he examines you.

Oyster, a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Circumvent, the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Barby Doll, A doll with sharp steel spikes.

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