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Monday, 27 May 2013

Santa Banta Hot hindi Jokes/chutkule


(Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes, Hot Jokes) 
Banta: Bade sharm ki baat hai main homosexual ho gaya hu.
Preeto: Wo kaise ?
Banta: I have sex at home only.
Preeto: Thank God! Main aisi nahi hoon.
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Santa: In all AIDS ads, they talk of SAFE SEX. What is SAFE SEX?
Banta: Oye, SAFE SEX is when wife is out of town!
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Lady golfer storms angrily into club house.
Golf PRO: What's wrong?
Lady: Got stung by a bee.
PRO: Where?
Lady: Between the 1st and 2nd hole!
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Boss during Interview for Post of Secretary asked: What's the Difference between a Paperclip & a Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I've never been Paperclipped !
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Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai. Y ? Sanata ne sales-girl se kaha: Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi.
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Why did the Grammer teacher slap Santa's Son?
B'coz he asked: Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items n PANTIES Plural when it Covers one item?
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Santa: Darling rape ka matlab kya hai?
Jeeto: Sahi jagah par galat aadmi!
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Santa on long tour asks Banta 2 inform if anything unusual haoens at home.
Banta SMSs after a month: Man who comes 2 Screw Ur Wife daily, didnt come today.
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Banta ne Suhag raat ko biwi se pucha: Kya tum VIRGIN ho?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?
Banta: Main bhi, magar aage se.
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Santa: Madam this panty & this bra will look nice on U.
Lady: How can U be so sure?
Santa: I'have done diploma in interior designing.
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Santa "Ek condom dena, girlfrend ko gift dena hai"
Dukaandar : Is par giftcover chada du?
Santa: Arre nahi yehi to cover hai. Gift to mere paas hai.
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Banta: It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL.
Wife: How come?
Banta: I have Sex at HOME only!
Wife: Thank god I am not.
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Santa divorced his wife on 1st night. Banta asked him the reason, Santa said, "Yaar ohdi panty te sticker laga si: OK/Tested. Mohan Lal & Sons
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Pappu: What is the meaning of Pyar Ishq Aur Mohabbat.
Santa: Kuch nahi beta sab free vich sex karan de bahane ne...
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Banta to a girl: Wat's ur name?
Girl: Carmen.
Banta: Yeh kaisa naam hai?
Girl: Becoz I like Cars and men. What's ur name?
Banta: CHUTINDER BOOBIYA
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Banta wanted Twins. So what did he do?
He Made two Holes in the Condom.
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Jeeto: What'll u do if u have only 5 mins before an Atomic blast occurs?
Santa: I'll have SEX with u.
Jeeto: OK, but what about the next for minutes?
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Bus Conductor: Pichhe sab ne ticketan lai layian.
Santa: Nahi ji, haje tak ta hath ch hi ne....
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Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.
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Teacher: Aisi konsi cheez hai jo bahut vajan uttha sakti hai lekin jiska khud ka vajan bahut thoda hai?
Pappu: Madam ji, aapki Bra.
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Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wife's boobs!
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Santa on a blind date with a gori.
Santa: Do u object 2 fucking?
Gori: That's something I'v never done.
Santa: What! U r a Virgin?
Gori: No, Never Objected!
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On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in. Fails but proudly says: Too tight! But I'm happy I'm the 1st.
Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st.
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Master to Banta: Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Banta: Ji 6
Master: Oye Murkha, tenu kini vari keha k Kachche ch hath pa k Unglan na ginya kar
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Santa was watching a Blue Film. He saw his wife in the film. After the film ended he said: Thank God it was just a movie & not real.
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Santa to Banta after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

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Obscene phone caller: Hello baby, if u can guess what's in my hand I'll let u have it.
Preeto: Listen ji, if u can hold it in one hand I'm not interested. 

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