Wonderful Speech at Jaipur by Rajiv Dixit
Monday, 29 April 2013
Truth Behind Kargil War- By Rajiv Dixit
Must Watch Truth of Kargil War- Wande Mataram
Top Secret News of Bollywood-Amitabh Bachchn
Top Secret News of Bollywood-Amitabh Bachchn
Chutkule on Sardar
Hot Hindi Jokes and Chutkule on Sardar
Sdr: >Up Coming Moives
1> Exam ka Khauf
2> Tadapte Student
3> Kaatil syllabus
4> Sadma Result ka
5> Pass Ho Na ho
6> kaash Hum Padhe Hote.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Gal with his boyfriend opened her legs 2fuck n asked:Hamare baby ka naam kya hoga
He wears condom n says:Iske baad bhi hooga too 'Jadugar'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Pata nahin Nisar bhai kaise paida huye
A: Nahin pata
Q: Thik hai main batata hu
A: Jawani Janeman, Haseen Dilruba, Mile do dil jawan, Nisar Ho gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass
Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir
Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere,
You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?
Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?
Officer: Mental Problems
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sdr: >Up Coming Moives
1> Exam ka Khauf
2> Tadapte Student
3> Kaatil syllabus
4> Sadma Result ka
5> Pass Ho Na ho
6> kaash Hum Padhe Hote.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Gal with his boyfriend opened her legs 2fuck n asked:Hamare baby ka naam kya hoga
He wears condom n says:Iske baad bhi hooga too 'Jadugar'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Pata nahin Nisar bhai kaise paida huye
A: Nahin pata
Q: Thik hai main batata hu
A: Jawani Janeman, Haseen Dilruba, Mile do dil jawan, Nisar Ho gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass
Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir
Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere,
You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?
Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?
Officer: Mental Problems
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Nice chutkule and Hindi jokes
Some Nice Chutkule and Hindi Jokes
Most cricketers (specially PAKISTANI), who are not comfortable in conversing in English,
go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators
chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question
after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his
standard response to the first question after winning (about match how was it & how did you did it).
>>
>>
>> But this time.....
>>
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!
Inzamam: Bismillah-e- Rehman-e- Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi.
It was tight situation when he went in.. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions.
It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team,
put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher:-DHITRASHTRA K 100 Putra the: PANDU Ke sirf 5 Aisa Q?
student:- Sir, kyu ki Jinki Ankhe Hoti hai,Unhe Aur Bhi Kaam Hote Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa Ne Pathan Ki Beti Ka Rishta Manga
Pathan Ne Santa Ko Bahut Mara
Mar Kha K Santa Utha
Kapde Jhad k Bola
To Phir Me Inkar Samjhu
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Macchar marne ka naya tarika
pahle machar pakdo
fir jamin pe lita do
fir gudgudi karo
or jaise hi hase
muh me ALLOUT DAL DO
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
RAVAN: cigarete hai kya?
HANUMAN: Nahi
RAM: 1 pack hai na?
HANUMAN: prabu Aap chup rahiye sale ke 10 sar hai poora pack khatham ho jayega.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
New exam pattern->
1.Gen students: Ans ALL questions
2.OBC: Write ANY question.
3.SC : Read ONLY questions
4.ST: Thanks 4 coming to exam
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Son: Papa, mai kaise paida hua?
Papa: Mandir me mannat magne se.
Son: Aur ap?
Papa: Mai b aise hi.
Son: Hamare yahan chodne vodne ka rivaj nai he
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: Expain Responsibility?
Boy: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down
the entire responsibility will b on the 4th one.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man smoking in a bus.
Condtor: No Smoking likha nahin dikhta
Man: side may 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waah re GANDHI,
Kya chali teri Aandhi,
Aaya tha langot me
AUR ghus gaya,
10,
20,
50,
100,
500,
1000
k Note me!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ultimate Power of Kaliyug:-
3rd standard Boy:Can I KISS ur hand.??
3rd std Girl: why, has anything happened to my LIPS.?
ZamaNa BadaL Gya Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dhirubhai Calling 4m Swarg"Beta Anil Kesa Chl Rha hai Apna Reliance India Mobile
Anil:Papa Kuch Sunai Nhi Deta Ap Mere Airtel K No.Pe Call Karo.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mukesh ambani:
I want 2 kiss ur wife
Anil: Ok but 40 paise per minute.
Anil wife: dont cheat him reliance to reliance free.
Most cricketers (specially PAKISTANI), who are not comfortable in conversing in English,
go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators
chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question
after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his
standard response to the first question after winning (about match how was it & how did you did it).
>>
>>
>> But this time.....
>>
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!
Inzamam: Bismillah-e- Rehman-e- Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi.
It was tight situation when he went in.. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions.
It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team,
put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher:-DHITRASHTRA K 100 Putra the: PANDU Ke sirf 5 Aisa Q?
student:- Sir, kyu ki Jinki Ankhe Hoti hai,Unhe Aur Bhi Kaam Hote Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa Ne Pathan Ki Beti Ka Rishta Manga
Pathan Ne Santa Ko Bahut Mara
Mar Kha K Santa Utha
Kapde Jhad k Bola
To Phir Me Inkar Samjhu
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Macchar marne ka naya tarika
pahle machar pakdo
fir jamin pe lita do
fir gudgudi karo
or jaise hi hase
muh me ALLOUT DAL DO
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
RAVAN: cigarete hai kya?
HANUMAN: Nahi
RAM: 1 pack hai na?
HANUMAN: prabu Aap chup rahiye sale ke 10 sar hai poora pack khatham ho jayega.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
New exam pattern->
1.Gen students: Ans ALL questions
2.OBC: Write ANY question.
3.SC : Read ONLY questions
4.ST: Thanks 4 coming to exam
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Son: Papa, mai kaise paida hua?
Papa: Mandir me mannat magne se.
Son: Aur ap?
Papa: Mai b aise hi.
Son: Hamare yahan chodne vodne ka rivaj nai he
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: Expain Responsibility?
Boy: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down
the entire responsibility will b on the 4th one.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man smoking in a bus.
Condtor: No Smoking likha nahin dikhta
Man: side may 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waah re GANDHI,
Kya chali teri Aandhi,
Aaya tha langot me
AUR ghus gaya,
10,
20,
50,
100,
500,
1000
k Note me!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ultimate Power of Kaliyug:-
3rd standard Boy:Can I KISS ur hand.??
3rd std Girl: why, has anything happened to my LIPS.?
ZamaNa BadaL Gya Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dhirubhai Calling 4m Swarg"Beta Anil Kesa Chl Rha hai Apna Reliance India Mobile
Anil:Papa Kuch Sunai Nhi Deta Ap Mere Airtel K No.Pe Call Karo.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mukesh ambani:
I want 2 kiss ur wife
Anil: Ok but 40 paise per minute.
Anil wife: dont cheat him reliance to reliance free.
Kaatil Hindi Chutkule/Jokes
Kaatil Hindi chutkule/best Jokes
Rape Case
Lawer to Girl: Aap bata sakti hai Aadmi koun tha.
Girl: Koi bahar ka tha
Lawer: kyo?
Girl: Itna bada hamare mohalle me kisi ka nahi hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,
Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Positive-thinking poem:
Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye
U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,
Cows do not fly
Always b positive
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:
Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek Kana Kisi Ladki Ko Propose Kare
To Konsa Geet Gayega?
?
?
?
?
?
1 Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota Hai,
Maine Suna Hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A love letter from biscuit maker:
Dear marie, today is good day,
u r anmol for me…
but u have crack jacked my heart,
bcoz i have a little heart,
now i m in 50/50 position…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dil ka dard batna mat
Ankho me ansu lana mat
Is bar pitai bahut hogi
Isliye masjid se chappal churana mat
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
U r a v special frnd of me
So I wanna gift u N70
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Gin le pure 70 hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kanjus baap= Kaha gaya tha
Beta= GF ke sath tha
Baap gusse se _kitna kharch kiya
Beta=250, Baap=250??
Beta=han uske pas itna hi tha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Anti Misha: My daughter got gang raped, I need insurance claim
Agent: Sorry madam personal enjoyment & entertainment is not covered
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ganja going on road, Bird shits on Head "hey bhagwan ye kya hua?
Bhagwan-Bacha tu itni dhup me ja raha hai, mai to Sirf Sunscreen
Lotion Dala hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Ap apni frnd ki biwi k janaze pe nai gaye???
Hus: Kis muh se jau? Wo mujhe 3ri biwi ke janaze pe bula
rha hai or me use 1 dafa b nhi bula saka
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Are dekh teri biwi ko saap kat raha hai
Santa: Chinta mat kar yaar, uska zahar khatm ho gaya hoga
Recharge karwane aaya hoga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Rape Case
Lawer to Girl: Aap bata sakti hai Aadmi koun tha.
Girl: Koi bahar ka tha
Lawer: kyo?
Girl: Itna bada hamare mohalle me kisi ka nahi hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,
Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Positive-thinking poem:
Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye
U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,
Cows do not fly
Always b positive
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:
Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek Kana Kisi Ladki Ko Propose Kare
To Konsa Geet Gayega?
?
?
?
?
?
1 Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota Hai,
Maine Suna Hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A love letter from biscuit maker:
Dear marie, today is good day,
u r anmol for me…
but u have crack jacked my heart,
bcoz i have a little heart,
now i m in 50/50 position…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dil ka dard batna mat
Ankho me ansu lana mat
Is bar pitai bahut hogi
Isliye masjid se chappal churana mat
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
U r a v special frnd of me
So I wanna gift u N70
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Gin le pure 70 hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kanjus baap= Kaha gaya tha
Beta= GF ke sath tha
Baap gusse se _kitna kharch kiya
Beta=250, Baap=250??
Beta=han uske pas itna hi tha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Anti Misha: My daughter got gang raped, I need insurance claim
Agent: Sorry madam personal enjoyment & entertainment is not covered
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ganja going on road, Bird shits on Head "hey bhagwan ye kya hua?
Bhagwan-Bacha tu itni dhup me ja raha hai, mai to Sirf Sunscreen
Lotion Dala hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Ap apni frnd ki biwi k janaze pe nai gaye???
Hus: Kis muh se jau? Wo mujhe 3ri biwi ke janaze pe bula
rha hai or me use 1 dafa b nhi bula saka
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Are dekh teri biwi ko saap kat raha hai
Santa: Chinta mat kar yaar, uska zahar khatm ho gaya hoga
Recharge karwane aaya hoga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher-Student Chutkule
Unseen Hot Chutkule
Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh the
Phir Rajput hue
Phir Sharma ho gaye
Abhi hai Darzi
Aaage Mummy ki marzi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Child:papa aunty ka pait kyu phola hai?
Father:tujhe sub pata hai!
C: nahi pata promise!
F: in k pait me pani bhara hai
C: Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar aap kahin jaa rahe ho or KALI BILI apke aage se guzar jaye to iska kya matlab hai???????????
Is ka matlab hai
k
KALI BILI bhi kahin jaa rahi hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
What is the full form of MBNP?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Mujhe Bhi Nahi Pata
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I
LOVE
U!
Send this sms to 10 girls and win a free trip to your nearest "Polis Station" in luxary jeep.
Rahana khana and body masaj free
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
2 bachey jungl main poti ker rehey they achank lione aa geya
pehla bacha
chote dar tu nahi raha
dosra bacha nahi main nahi darta
pehla bacha tu saley apni doh mari kyun doh raha hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
New Concept of Life
Morning = M_A_N_D_I_R
Evening = M_A_D_I_R_A
Night = M_A_N_D_I_R_A
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
$: GHAJINI me Aamir Khan Ki Body Itni Jaldi kyon bni
Q K Aamir Khan 1 Bar Jim Jata Tha 15 mint bad bhul jata tha
Phir Dubara Chala Jata tha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1 GADHA tha
Wo Sms Parh Rha Tha
Use Pta Tha k Sender ne Use GADHA Kha Hai
Wo fir b Sms Parh Rha Tha..
Bechara GADHA Jo Tha!
e e e hasa..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh the
Phir Rajput hue
Phir Sharma ho gaye
Abhi hai Darzi
Aaage Mummy ki marzi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Child:papa aunty ka pait kyu phola hai?
Father:tujhe sub pata hai!
C: nahi pata promise!
F: in k pait me pani bhara hai
C: Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar aap kahin jaa rahe ho or KALI BILI apke aage se guzar jaye to iska kya matlab hai???????????
Is ka matlab hai
k
KALI BILI bhi kahin jaa rahi hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
What is the full form of MBNP?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Mujhe Bhi Nahi Pata
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I
LOVE
U!
Send this sms to 10 girls and win a free trip to your nearest "Polis Station" in luxary jeep.
Rahana khana and body masaj free
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
2 bachey jungl main poti ker rehey they achank lione aa geya
pehla bacha
chote dar tu nahi raha
dosra bacha nahi main nahi darta
pehla bacha tu saley apni doh mari kyun doh raha hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
New Concept of Life
Morning = M_A_N_D_I_R
Evening = M_A_D_I_R_A
Night = M_A_N_D_I_R_A
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
$: GHAJINI me Aamir Khan Ki Body Itni Jaldi kyon bni
Q K Aamir Khan 1 Bar Jim Jata Tha 15 mint bad bhul jata tha
Phir Dubara Chala Jata tha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1 GADHA tha
Wo Sms Parh Rha Tha
Use Pta Tha k Sender ne Use GADHA Kha Hai
Wo fir b Sms Parh Rha Tha..
Bechara GADHA Jo Tha!
e e e hasa..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
chutkule chutkule aur best chutkule
Some Best Hindi Chutkule
Q:What Is The Idea Of A Horror Scene?
THINK
THINK
ANS:U R Having Sex With Pregn@nt Lady & Suddenly A Hand Holds Ur LUN From Inside!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
maisehikuttahonahodtamjoadhaptwamjamjadtdajkjlalotmagtnbeht...
Nahi padha ja rha na..Forward kar do, Tension dene ka, lene ka nahi!..kya
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
BREAKING NEW
Lucknow me barf giri
AB SAMACHAR VIStaR SE
Hazrtganj me 1 admi cycle par barf le ja ra tha,carier dhila tha aur barf gir gai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Itna KHUBSURAT kaise MUSKURA lete ho
Itna KATIL kaise SHARMA lete ho
1baat bata do yaar tum
Bachpan se hi CARTOON ho
Ya SURAT aisi bana lete ho???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A very bad shayari which might even kill u.
Aatma choor gayi sharir purana
Aatma choor gayi sharir purana
Didi tera devar diwana???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher:Kiss Ko Sentence Me Is Tarah Istamal Karo K Word KisS Bhi Na Aaye Aur Mening Aajae
Student-Aaj Subah Begam Se Bahut Muh-mari hui.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's Simple Mathematics, are you a donkey
Simple Equation
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore
Human - enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
snta:AAJ GHAR JATE HI BIWI KI PANTY UTRUNGA,
bnta: AAJ TO BADE MOOD ME HAI?
snta: MOOD KI AISI KI TESI, BAHUT TIGHT HAI , SUBAH GALTI SE PEHENLI THE
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If ur boss says: Nothing is impossible,
ask him 2 wear a condom aftr sex.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Rinku Bantu Swimming pool Me Naha Rahe The
Rinku Dubne Laga To Bantu Ka Lund Pakad Liya
B: Bhosdi ke sikhle Ladki Ke 7 Hota To Dub Gaya Hota
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: ek condom dena, girlfrnd ko gift dena hai.
Shpkpr: is par cover chadha du?
Boy: arre nhi ! yahi to cover hai, gift to mere paas hai.!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar tum 90 bar paap karoge to 45 bar pakde jaoge.
why?
?
?
?
?
bcoz
sin90 = cot45
(sin90=caught45(
Think hatke....always..!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q:What Is The Idea Of A Horror Scene?
THINK
THINK
ANS:U R Having Sex With Pregn@nt Lady & Suddenly A Hand Holds Ur LUN From Inside!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
maisehikuttahonahodtamjoadhaptwamjamjadtdajkjlalotmagtnbeht...
Nahi padha ja rha na..Forward kar do, Tension dene ka, lene ka nahi!..kya
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
BREAKING NEW
Lucknow me barf giri
AB SAMACHAR VIStaR SE
Hazrtganj me 1 admi cycle par barf le ja ra tha,carier dhila tha aur barf gir gai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Itna KHUBSURAT kaise MUSKURA lete ho
Itna KATIL kaise SHARMA lete ho
1baat bata do yaar tum
Bachpan se hi CARTOON ho
Ya SURAT aisi bana lete ho???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A very bad shayari which might even kill u.
Aatma choor gayi sharir purana
Aatma choor gayi sharir purana
Didi tera devar diwana???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher:Kiss Ko Sentence Me Is Tarah Istamal Karo K Word KisS Bhi Na Aaye Aur Mening Aajae
Student-Aaj Subah Begam Se Bahut Muh-mari hui.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's Simple Mathematics, are you a donkey
Simple Equation
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore
Human - enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
snta:AAJ GHAR JATE HI BIWI KI PANTY UTRUNGA,
bnta: AAJ TO BADE MOOD ME HAI?
snta: MOOD KI AISI KI TESI, BAHUT TIGHT HAI , SUBAH GALTI SE PEHENLI THE
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If ur boss says: Nothing is impossible,
ask him 2 wear a condom aftr sex.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Rinku Bantu Swimming pool Me Naha Rahe The
Rinku Dubne Laga To Bantu Ka Lund Pakad Liya
B: Bhosdi ke sikhle Ladki Ke 7 Hota To Dub Gaya Hota
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: ek condom dena, girlfrnd ko gift dena hai.
Shpkpr: is par cover chadha du?
Boy: arre nhi ! yahi to cover hai, gift to mere paas hai.!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar tum 90 bar paap karoge to 45 bar pakde jaoge.
why?
?
?
?
?
bcoz
sin90 = cot45
(sin90=caught45(
Think hatke....always..!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Namkeen Hindi chutkule
Garam Aur Namkeen hind chutkule
Mubarak Ho
Govrnment Ne Teri Sun Li
Badi Tension Me Tha Tu
Dusro Ko Dekh Kar Tadapta Tha
Ab Khush Ho Ja
Market Me
1 Inch Ka Condom AgGya Ha???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife- Do you want anything from USA?
Husband- An American girl.
Wife returns.
Husband- Where is my gift?
Wife- Just wait for 9 months.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Grl:BRA dkhao2
Dukandr:36 chalegi?G:Thori choti doD:30 Ya use v kam G:Thora kam size D:24 hoga?
G:or choti D:Behenji,Cream lagalo.shyd PIMPLE hoga???4
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 bananas.
Fruit Seller: me 12 se kam nahi bechta hu
1 girl said: Le le yaar ek kha lenge.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Beti:Maa gaon me filmwale aye hai
Maa:Andar aaja Inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti:Karan Johar b hai
Maa:To tere "BHAI" ko b andar bula le...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
kelewala: kele le lo kele
Madam: Are bhaiya kele to pilpile hai kadak aur lambe do
kelewala: Are madam kabhi to khane ke liye liya karo..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek sardar ne hospital me ek surjery gloves dekha, bar bar ulat palat ke
dekhne ke bad bola "lagta he Dropadi ke jamane ka C0ND0M hai" :-
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl to AsaRam:Can I see d future?
Asaram:Yes,KAPDE utaro aur ghodi ban jao.
Grl:I feel U want to FU_KK me
AsaRam:Dekha future dekhne lagi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Call Girl.1000/.Ka Note Bank Me Jma Kr Wane Gayi.
Bank Wala:Ye Note To Nakli Hai..
Call Girl:Hai Hai Mera To Balatkar Ho Gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Priyanka Chopra riding Scooty, suddenly stopped & began doing SUSU.. ON ROAD SIDE
Police: what r u doing.
Priyanka - why SHOULD BOYS HAVE ALL D FUN
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Don
Don
Don
Jab Karina Ne DON ki Pent Utari Tab Jake Pata Chala ki don ka itna chota hei ki
"DON KA PAKARNA MUSKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAI"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mubarak Ho
Govrnment Ne Teri Sun Li
Badi Tension Me Tha Tu
Dusro Ko Dekh Kar Tadapta Tha
Ab Khush Ho Ja
Market Me
1 Inch Ka Condom AgGya Ha???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife- Do you want anything from USA?
Husband- An American girl.
Wife returns.
Husband- Where is my gift?
Wife- Just wait for 9 months.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Grl:BRA dkhao2
Dukandr:36 chalegi?G:Thori choti doD:30 Ya use v kam G:Thora kam size D:24 hoga?
G:or choti D:Behenji,Cream lagalo.shyd PIMPLE hoga???4
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 bananas.
Fruit Seller: me 12 se kam nahi bechta hu
1 girl said: Le le yaar ek kha lenge.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Beti:Maa gaon me filmwale aye hai
Maa:Andar aaja Inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti:Karan Johar b hai
Maa:To tere "BHAI" ko b andar bula le...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
kelewala: kele le lo kele
Madam: Are bhaiya kele to pilpile hai kadak aur lambe do
kelewala: Are madam kabhi to khane ke liye liya karo..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek sardar ne hospital me ek surjery gloves dekha, bar bar ulat palat ke
dekhne ke bad bola "lagta he Dropadi ke jamane ka C0ND0M hai" :-
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl to AsaRam:Can I see d future?
Asaram:Yes,KAPDE utaro aur ghodi ban jao.
Grl:I feel U want to FU_KK me
AsaRam:Dekha future dekhne lagi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Call Girl.1000/.Ka Note Bank Me Jma Kr Wane Gayi.
Bank Wala:Ye Note To Nakli Hai..
Call Girl:Hai Hai Mera To Balatkar Ho Gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Priyanka Chopra riding Scooty, suddenly stopped & began doing SUSU.. ON ROAD SIDE
Police: what r u doing.
Priyanka - why SHOULD BOYS HAVE ALL D FUN
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Don
Don
Don
Jab Karina Ne DON ki Pent Utari Tab Jake Pata Chala ki don ka itna chota hei ki
"DON KA PAKARNA MUSKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAI"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
hot Hindi chutkule
Hot Hindi chutkule, The best Oneliner
Lady tells Doctor:Mere husband ka bahot bada hai
Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai!
Dr:Chota kar du kya
Lady:-Nahi
Kaleja Upar kardo .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mattha tekne ke baad lady boli swamiji koi sadbuddhi ki baat bataiye.
Swami : bra pahan ke aaya karo, hilte dekh ke dhyan bhang ho jata hey.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl-DR Main susu Karti Hoo to 4 DHAR NIKALTI HAI
After checking her,
Dr-4 DHAR HI NIKLEGI KYONKI ANDAR aadmi ki pant KA BUTTON GUSA hAI..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.
Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MELODY &MALA-D me kya fark hota hai?
choti bacchi jab masti karti hai to MELODY khati hai
badi bachi jab masti karti hai to MALA-D khati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Club Me Dancr jhuki to American Ne 100 Rs.Uski Bra
me dala,British Ne 200 dale
Sardar ne ATM card Uski Bra Me ghusaya or
300 Rs. Nikaal Liye???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar was advising his son on dinning table: 'Oye boti kha boti, lulli waddi hoyegi'..
Sardarni (Sharmatey huey(: 'Sardarji tusi v khao na'..???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
SwamiRamdev Blue Film dekhne gye
hans pade
BHAKT:Ap Q hanse gurdev?
SWAMI:Aj 20 sal bad mera khada hua hai
BHAKT:Gurdav apne mera pkda hua hai.???4
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wht Is Pure Ayurvedic Name For Condom?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans:Veerya Rodhak Yoni Bhedak Tel Yuqt Prajanan Virodhi Ling Vastra
Lady tells Doctor:Mere husband ka bahot bada hai
Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai!
Dr:Chota kar du kya
Lady:-Nahi
Kaleja Upar kardo .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mattha tekne ke baad lady boli swamiji koi sadbuddhi ki baat bataiye.
Swami : bra pahan ke aaya karo, hilte dekh ke dhyan bhang ho jata hey.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl-DR Main susu Karti Hoo to 4 DHAR NIKALTI HAI
After checking her,
Dr-4 DHAR HI NIKLEGI KYONKI ANDAR aadmi ki pant KA BUTTON GUSA hAI..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.
Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MELODY &MALA-D me kya fark hota hai?
choti bacchi jab masti karti hai to MELODY khati hai
badi bachi jab masti karti hai to MALA-D khati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Club Me Dancr jhuki to American Ne 100 Rs.Uski Bra
me dala,British Ne 200 dale
Sardar ne ATM card Uski Bra Me ghusaya or
300 Rs. Nikaal Liye???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar was advising his son on dinning table: 'Oye boti kha boti, lulli waddi hoyegi'..
Sardarni (Sharmatey huey(: 'Sardarji tusi v khao na'..???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
SwamiRamdev Blue Film dekhne gye
hans pade
BHAKT:Ap Q hanse gurdev?
SWAMI:Aj 20 sal bad mera khada hua hai
BHAKT:Gurdav apne mera pkda hua hai.???4
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wht Is Pure Ayurvedic Name For Condom?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans:Veerya Rodhak Yoni Bhedak Tel Yuqt Prajanan Virodhi Ling Vastra
Best of Hindi Kavi sammelan by OM vayas
Best of Kavi Om Vayas Ji
Dr, Kumar Vishwas in Jabalpur......
Dr, Kumar Vishwas in Jabalpur......
Best of Lalu Jokes
Laloo the Detective
A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Lady tells Doctor:Mere husband ka bahot bada hai
Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai!
Dr:Chota kar du kya
Lady:-Nahi
Kaleja Upar kardo .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mattha tekne ke baad lady boli swamiji koi sadbuddhi ki baat bataiye.
Swami : bra pahan ke aaya karo, hilte dekh ke dhyan bhang ho jata hey.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl-DR Main susu Karti Hoo to 4 DHAR NIKALTI HAI
After checking her,
Dr-4 DHAR HI NIKLEGI KYONKI ANDAR aadmi ki pant KA BUTTON GUSA hAI..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.
Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MELODY &MALA-D me kya fark hota hai?
choti bacchi jab masti karti hai to MELODY khati hai
badi bachi jab masti karti hai to MALA-D khati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Club Me Dancr jhuki to American Ne 100 Rs.Uski Bra
me dala,British Ne 200 dale
Sardar ne ATM card Uski Bra Me ghusaya or
300 Rs. Nikaal Liye???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar was advising his son on dinning table: 'Oye boti kha boti, lulli waddi hoyegi'..
Sardarni (Sharmatey huey(: 'Sardarji tusi v khao na'..???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
SwamiRamdev Blue Film dekhne gye
hans pade
BHAKT:Ap Q hanse gurdev?
SWAMI:Aj 20 sal bad mera khada hua hai
BHAKT:Gurdav apne mera pkda hua hai.???4
A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,
"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless
because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Lady tells Doctor:Mere husband ka bahot bada hai
Andar jata hai to kaleje ko lagta hai!
Dr:Chota kar du kya
Lady:-Nahi
Kaleja Upar kardo .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mattha tekne ke baad lady boli swamiji koi sadbuddhi ki baat bataiye.
Swami : bra pahan ke aaya karo, hilte dekh ke dhyan bhang ho jata hey.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl-DR Main susu Karti Hoo to 4 DHAR NIKALTI HAI
After checking her,
Dr-4 DHAR HI NIKLEGI KYONKI ANDAR aadmi ki pant KA BUTTON GUSA hAI..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.
Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MELODY &MALA-D me kya fark hota hai?
choti bacchi jab masti karti hai to MELODY khati hai
badi bachi jab masti karti hai to MALA-D khati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Club Me Dancr jhuki to American Ne 100 Rs.Uski Bra
me dala,British Ne 200 dale
Sardar ne ATM card Uski Bra Me ghusaya or
300 Rs. Nikaal Liye???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sardar was advising his son on dinning table: 'Oye boti kha boti, lulli waddi hoyegi'..
Sardarni (Sharmatey huey(: 'Sardarji tusi v khao na'..???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
SwamiRamdev Blue Film dekhne gye
hans pade
BHAKT:Ap Q hanse gurdev?
SWAMI:Aj 20 sal bad mera khada hua hai
BHAKT:Gurdav apne mera pkda hua hai.???4
Sardar Ji hot Chutkule
1Srdar-maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,
fir M.Sc
Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab aur kya karu?
2 srdar-acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Srdr put his penis in a botle of HORLICKS n started shouting ''Epang Opang Japaang''
why?why?He wantd 2 make it Taller Stronger n Sharper
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3 grls gosipping at tuition
1st-kal maine sir ki table par cdm dekha
2nd-maine usme hole kar diya tha
3rd-marwa diya na mujhe saali
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1st nite pati biwi k ankho me dekh rha tha
Wife:kya dekh rahe ho? Pati:ankhe jndgi k kitab hai
Wife:niche library me aag lagi hai uska kya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Papu Ka Bura Din: Darwaza Khola Kundi Hath Me,
Nal Khola Tuti Hath Me,
Suitcase Uthaya Handle Hath Me.
Ab Dar Raha Hai Ke Susu Karu Ke Na Karu.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A baby dog asks mama dog How papa looks like Mama dog said Your dad came from behind
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kunwari kanya ko miss kehte hai
uske chumbanKo kiss kehte hE
missKo kiss
karna mushkil
hE
isliye
kissmiss ke bhav tej rehte hai...
Fir B.Sc,
fir M.Sc
Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab aur kya karu?
2 srdar-acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Srdr put his penis in a botle of HORLICKS n started shouting ''Epang Opang Japaang''
why?why?He wantd 2 make it Taller Stronger n Sharper
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3 grls gosipping at tuition
1st-kal maine sir ki table par cdm dekha
2nd-maine usme hole kar diya tha
3rd-marwa diya na mujhe saali
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
1st nite pati biwi k ankho me dekh rha tha
Wife:kya dekh rahe ho? Pati:ankhe jndgi k kitab hai
Wife:niche library me aag lagi hai uska kya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Papu Ka Bura Din: Darwaza Khola Kundi Hath Me,
Nal Khola Tuti Hath Me,
Suitcase Uthaya Handle Hath Me.
Ab Dar Raha Hai Ke Susu Karu Ke Na Karu.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A baby dog asks mama dog How papa looks like Mama dog said Your dad came from behind
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Kunwari kanya ko miss kehte hai
uske chumbanKo kiss kehte hE
missKo kiss
karna mushkil
hE
isliye
kissmiss ke bhav tej rehte hai...
hot chutkule
Ladkiwal-hamko ladka psand h Shadi kab karni h?
Ladkewal-abhi to ladka study kr rha h
Ldki-hamari ladki koi baandriya nhi jo buk faad degi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ye NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE Hai,
Isme Hum Logo Ko Sone Se Pehle SUSU Karna Yad Karate H,
Taki BED Gila Na Ho..
Plz SUSU Karle
Dhanywad..
Gud Night
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A young man Studying Abroad Sent SMS to his Father:
Dear Dad,no money,no fun,your son.
Father replied: DearSon,too bad,sosad,your dad.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MBA student:
"Yaar dhoka ho gaya"
Dost:
"kya hua?"
MBA student:
"maine ghar se books ke liye paise mangwaye the,unhone books hi bhej di...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Who is true Indian?
Rajiv Gandhi.
Bcoz he is d only leader who followed pledge
"ALL INDIANS R MY BROS N' SISTERS"
& married to a foreign item.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa:Mai 1 bar apne bathrum me susu karne gaya to waha sher tha.
Banta:fir kya hua?
Santa:mene sher ko kaha,aap karlo mera to nikal gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Customer:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka He?
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itna Sasta
Sman:China Ka He.Koi Gurantee Nahi,Ho Sakta He Kal Se Bhokna Suru Karde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher-apko shahrukh khan ki movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI se kya lesson mila?
Student-ummeed mat haro shadi k bad b ladki pat sakti hai!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I am leaving India 2morrow
Actualy Aishwarya is pregnant & media is suspecting me 4 it
Tu bhi nikal le
.
.
Uski kamwali bhi pregnant hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
English teacher-
"one cute young girl is walking on the road"
change this in to exclamatory sentence.
Student-
"Aaila, ITEM" !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl: na chedo ladkio ko paap hoga
kal ko tu v kisi ka baap hoga
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sacchi ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo teri bacchi ho
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl:If U'll Try To Kiss Me,Me Shor Macha Dungi
Boy:Lekin Yahan Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi He
G:I Know Bt Formality To puri
Karni Hi Padegi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media asked Abhishek,wat is d difference between new and old Umraojaan?
Abhishek:Nayi waali se apni setting hai aur purani waalise papa ki!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa was walking in a forest, he saw snake hanging on d tree
Santa : Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hum chlormint kio khaate
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
50 paise me nahi ate hai
Ab dobara mat puchna
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Napolean : Meri Dictionary Me "Impossible" Word Nahi He!
Santa : Ab Bolne Se Kya Fayda, Kharidte Samay Hi Check karni Chahiye Thi...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sherani ke gharwalo ne Hathi ka Rishta thukara diya kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tu so ja unka aapas ka mamala hai, hume kya karna,...
Gud9t
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar kuchh different kar dikhana hai to 1 baat mano
Hathi par ulta ho ke photo nikalo Aur duniya ko photo ulta karke dikhao.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Chuhe ne Bili ko prpose kiya to bili boli-abe chala ja,tujhe mujhse darr nhi lagta.
Chuha :TUJH ME RAB DIKHTA HAI YARA MAIN KYA KARU.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa ka uske pitaji se bahot jhagada hua...
Santa sidhe Kabrastan aaya aur pitaji ka photo ped par tangaya aur niche likha,
Coming SooN...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Months-12
Cricketors-11
Fingers-10
Planets-9
Corners-8
Wonders-7
Senses-6
Oceans-5
Direction-4
Seasons-3
Eye-2
Lovely Person-1
Abe tu Nahi mai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ladkewal-abhi to ladka study kr rha h
Ldki-hamari ladki koi baandriya nhi jo buk faad degi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ye NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE Hai,
Isme Hum Logo Ko Sone Se Pehle SUSU Karna Yad Karate H,
Taki BED Gila Na Ho..
Plz SUSU Karle
Dhanywad..
Gud Night
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A young man Studying Abroad Sent SMS to his Father:
Dear Dad,no money,no fun,your son.
Father replied: DearSon,too bad,sosad,your dad.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
MBA student:
"Yaar dhoka ho gaya"
Dost:
"kya hua?"
MBA student:
"maine ghar se books ke liye paise mangwaye the,unhone books hi bhej di...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Who is true Indian?
Rajiv Gandhi.
Bcoz he is d only leader who followed pledge
"ALL INDIANS R MY BROS N' SISTERS"
& married to a foreign item.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa:Mai 1 bar apne bathrum me susu karne gaya to waha sher tha.
Banta:fir kya hua?
Santa:mene sher ko kaha,aap karlo mera to nikal gaya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Customer:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka He?
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itna Sasta
Sman:China Ka He.Koi Gurantee Nahi,Ho Sakta He Kal Se Bhokna Suru Karde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher-apko shahrukh khan ki movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI se kya lesson mila?
Student-ummeed mat haro shadi k bad b ladki pat sakti hai!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I am leaving India 2morrow
Actualy Aishwarya is pregnant & media is suspecting me 4 it
Tu bhi nikal le
.
.
Uski kamwali bhi pregnant hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
English teacher-
"one cute young girl is walking on the road"
change this in to exclamatory sentence.
Student-
"Aaila, ITEM" !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl: na chedo ladkio ko paap hoga
kal ko tu v kisi ka baap hoga
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sacchi ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo teri bacchi ho
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girl:If U'll Try To Kiss Me,Me Shor Macha Dungi
Boy:Lekin Yahan Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi He
G:I Know Bt Formality To puri
Karni Hi Padegi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Media asked Abhishek,wat is d difference between new and old Umraojaan?
Abhishek:Nayi waali se apni setting hai aur purani waalise papa ki!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa was walking in a forest, he saw snake hanging on d tree
Santa : Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Hum chlormint kio khaate
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
50 paise me nahi ate hai
Ab dobara mat puchna
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Napolean : Meri Dictionary Me "Impossible" Word Nahi He!
Santa : Ab Bolne Se Kya Fayda, Kharidte Samay Hi Check karni Chahiye Thi...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sherani ke gharwalo ne Hathi ka Rishta thukara diya kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tu so ja unka aapas ka mamala hai, hume kya karna,...
Gud9t
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Agar kuchh different kar dikhana hai to 1 baat mano
Hathi par ulta ho ke photo nikalo Aur duniya ko photo ulta karke dikhao.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Chuhe ne Bili ko prpose kiya to bili boli-abe chala ja,tujhe mujhse darr nhi lagta.
Chuha :TUJH ME RAB DIKHTA HAI YARA MAIN KYA KARU.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Santa ka uske pitaji se bahot jhagada hua...
Santa sidhe Kabrastan aaya aur pitaji ka photo ped par tangaya aur niche likha,
Coming SooN...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Months-12
Cricketors-11
Fingers-10
Planets-9
Corners-8
Wonders-7
Senses-6
Oceans-5
Direction-4
Seasons-3
Eye-2
Lovely Person-1
Abe tu Nahi mai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Best Girlfriend Jokes
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
[jeejasali.com]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede, Apni nahi toh dusre
ki dede, Bhagwan tujhe 1 ke badle 3 dega Anurag ki
tarah prerana ke saath Aparna aur Komolika free dega…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek nadi thi...uske upar ek pull bana hua tha...pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi...
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi...
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
"KISNA"
Wanna know Why???
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai... woh kisna hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy2 girl:Agr tum 50gm weight 1min me kam kar doto tum jayada sunder or sexy lagogi
G:Ye kaise ho skta h?
B:Very easy.Tum apni panti utar do.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Qki...
Shyam ke sath uski girlfriend thi..!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Itna KHUBSURAT kaise MUSKURA lete ho
Itna KATIL kaise SHARMA lete ho
1baat bata do yaar tum
Bachpan se hi CARTOON ho
Ya SURAT aisi bana lete ho???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
What's an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mam: Jab Sex karo to condom ka prayog kiya karo
Girl: Madam agar apko polythin me rakhkar Gulab jamun chusaya jay to kya apko maja ayega
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Raat ko sirf 3 log jagte hai
1. Bhut insan ko darane k liye
2. Machchar insan ko stane k liye
3. Husband aur wife insan ko banane k liye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Great Offer! Bring a chit on exam day,scratch & show it 2ur nearest teacher
& win free trip2 Principal's office & Njoy 3year Vacation at Home
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Arz Hai
vo Toilet Mein Bethe The Maikhana Samajhkar,
Woh Toilet M Bethe The Maikhaana Samajhkar,
Aur Dhone Ka Paani P Gye Paimana Samajhkar
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Munna:circuit yar barish k waqt bijali Q chamkti hai
Circuit:bhai b0le t0 upar wala torch maar k dekhta h0ga ki kahi sukha t0 nahi reh gaya
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkum teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
saRDAR ki wife nangi ho kar,
pure bed par dono tango ko phelakar boli
KUCH samjhe?
SARDAR:Ha haraamzadi.tu bed par AKELI SONa chahati he
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Tumahri girlfriend kitni bhi Sharif hogi..
Wa wa
Tumhaari girlfriend kitni bhi Shareef hogi..
Wa wa
Par
Nahati to Nangi hi Hogi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Tigr Kills Cow,
Hippo see It
Tigr asks Hippo "Not to tel this in Court",
Hippo Refuses,
Tigr Asks Y?
Hippo said-SHAKIRA says"Hips Don't Lie"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
[jeejasali.com]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede, Apni nahi toh dusre
ki dede, Bhagwan tujhe 1 ke badle 3 dega Anurag ki
tarah prerana ke saath Aparna aur Komolika free dega…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ek nadi thi...uske upar ek pull bana hua tha...pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi...
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi...
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
"KISNA"
Wanna know Why???
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai... woh kisna hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boy2 girl:Agr tum 50gm weight 1min me kam kar doto tum jayada sunder or sexy lagogi
G:Ye kaise ho skta h?
B:Very easy.Tum apni panti utar do.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Shyam aate hi Dipak jal utha,
Qki...
Shyam ke sath uski girlfriend thi..!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Itna KHUBSURAT kaise MUSKURA lete ho
Itna KATIL kaise SHARMA lete ho
1baat bata do yaar tum
Bachpan se hi CARTOON ho
Ya SURAT aisi bana lete ho???
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
What's an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Mam: Jab Sex karo to condom ka prayog kiya karo
Girl: Madam agar apko polythin me rakhkar Gulab jamun chusaya jay to kya apko maja ayega
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Raat ko sirf 3 log jagte hai
1. Bhut insan ko darane k liye
2. Machchar insan ko stane k liye
3. Husband aur wife insan ko banane k liye
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Great Offer! Bring a chit on exam day,scratch & show it 2ur nearest teacher
& win free trip2 Principal's office & Njoy 3year Vacation at Home
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Arz Hai
vo Toilet Mein Bethe The Maikhana Samajhkar,
Woh Toilet M Bethe The Maikhaana Samajhkar,
Aur Dhone Ka Paani P Gye Paimana Samajhkar
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Munna:circuit yar barish k waqt bijali Q chamkti hai
Circuit:bhai b0le t0 upar wala torch maar k dekhta h0ga ki kahi sukha t0 nahi reh gaya
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkum teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
saRDAR ki wife nangi ho kar,
pure bed par dono tango ko phelakar boli
KUCH samjhe?
SARDAR:Ha haraamzadi.tu bed par AKELI SONa chahati he
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Tumahri girlfriend kitni bhi Sharif hogi..
Wa wa
Tumhaari girlfriend kitni bhi Shareef hogi..
Wa wa
Par
Nahati to Nangi hi Hogi
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Tigr Kills Cow,
Hippo see It
Tigr asks Hippo "Not to tel this in Court",
Hippo Refuses,
Tigr Asks Y?
Hippo said-SHAKIRA says"Hips Don't Lie"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
hindi chutkule
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Some Hot Hindi Jokes
A woman married
a one legged man..
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k chares alag se......
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
MADAM said to a naughty boy!
Jab main sakht hoti hon to bohat sakht,
NAram hoti hon to bohat naram,NAughty boy said !Madam aap to bilkul meri LULLI
Jaisee ho..!!!!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi:
Faraz clerk hai 5000 pagar hai
uper se 15000 kamata hai
lardki walle: lardki nurse hai
2500 pagar hai + nicche se 50000
kamati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the Office.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A Sardarni had 8 sons all named Karan. On asking how she managed to call one in particular.
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Koi Sardarji apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal
garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Angry Sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar
idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think.........
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? (my favorite)
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
a one legged man..
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k chares alag se......
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
MADAM said to a naughty boy!
Jab main sakht hoti hon to bohat sakht,
NAram hoti hon to bohat naram,NAughty boy said !Madam aap to bilkul meri LULLI
Jaisee ho..!!!!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi:
Faraz clerk hai 5000 pagar hai
uper se 15000 kamata hai
lardki walle: lardki nurse hai
2500 pagar hai + nicche se 50000
kamati hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the Office.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A Sardarni had 8 sons all named Karan. On asking how she managed to call one in particular.
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Koi Sardarji apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal
garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Angry Sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar
idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think.........
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? (my favorite)
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
chutkule
lady in party want 2 go 2 tolit,asked sardar :.
sardarji susu karne wali jagah dikhao.
sardar- naughty girl pehle tum dikao
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Sardar:Kya Tumhari Underwear.
Me 2 Chhed He?.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Khabrdar-Nhai to..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sardar:Phir Tu Usme.
Tange Kaise Dalta He?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Dr- marij K piche bhag.
rahayha.
Log-kya hua.
Dr-4bar aisa hua.
sala brain opration karvane.
ata he aor.
bal katvake bhag jata
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
sardarji susu karne wali jagah dikhao.
sardar- naughty girl pehle tum dikao
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Sardar:Kya Tumhari Underwear.
Me 2 Chhed He?.
.
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.
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.
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Khabrdar-Nhai to..
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Sardar:Phir Tu Usme.
Tange Kaise Dalta He?
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Dr- marij K piche bhag.
rahayha.
Log-kya hua.
Dr-4bar aisa hua.
sala brain opration karvane.
ata he aor.
bal katvake bhag jata
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Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
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• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
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• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
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• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.
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• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.
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A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
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