Traveling Jokes

CAR RIDE

A guy is standing at a bus stop in the pouring rain with no coat or umbrella, when a car slides up to the kerb and stops beside him. Thinking he has just been offered a lift he opens the door and gets in relieved to be out of the wet. "Thanks pal I thought I would never......" he looks across at the driver and there is no one in the seat. Next thing the car moves off silently and for the next four miles it stops at every red light, obeys every traffic law and finally comes to a stop at the top of the road where the guy lives - he is by now is in a severe state of shock and anxiety and the only reason he has not jumped from the car en-route is because it was traveling so slowly that he knew he could get out at any time if something unearthly happened. Anyway it was going his way and keeping him dry! Now it is stopped at the kerb again just up the street from where he lives and the guy gets out, closes the door and as he turns to head off home he bumps into another guy who is going to get into the car. "Hey buddy I would not get in that car if I were you there's something weird about it" "Yeah, I know" says the second guy " But I've just pushed it four miles and I really need the rest".

DIVER

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?" The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"

DHABA 

Kakey da dhaaba (in London) has evoked another anecdote on cheap eating places. An Indian abroad ran out of foreign exchange and went looking for the cheapest eating place in town. He located an Indian restaurant and went in. He found three sections: 'European, Chinese, and Indian' He went into the Indian. It was divided into two: Vegeterian and non-vegetarian. He went into the vegetarian which was further divided into pure ghee and vanaspati. He went to the vanaspati section and found yet another division: Cash or credit. Cheered at the prospect of not having to pay in foreign exchange he opted for the Credit section. When he got to it he found the sign: "Exit: get out."